Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
I wish I hadn't had sex with someone I didn't love.
I know now days this is not uncommon, but for me it is.
Time has past since it happened... and I don't like to admit that it did.
I still have conflicting feelings about it.
This is what I wrote after it happened:
I didn't know.
I didn't know things would be so confusing and weird.
I didn't know that I would like someone and yet feel guilty.
Guilty for crossing a line that I wouldn't normally cross .
I know that he thinks less of me for crossing it.
Despite the fact that he says he doesn't, I know he does.
I am ashamed.
Ashamed in myself.
Knowing better... yet giving in.
Giving in is not something I do.
Giving in is what gets you into trouble...
and here I am.
Troubled by what might have been.
Troubled by what I can not change.
Troubled by what I long for and desire and just can't seem to bring to fruition.
Yeah... It did open my eyes to the fact that I will never allow that to happen again.
More to come...
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
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