30 Days of Truth: Day Seventeen: Guidance

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

The book is Eat Pray Love. The author spoke words that I wanted to form in my brain to describe myself, but couldn't... About how I engulf myself in the man in my life...so much so, that I lose myself completely. She told how you have to find yourself before you can truly find love.

It's funny... because most days I don't want to find myself before I find love. I want love to find me and be part of who I am. It's who I want to be.


But is that healthy? Is it healthy for me to be someone who wants to be someone else's "someone" even before I "find" me?


I mean... how will I know if I have "found" myself? There is no finish line. No medal to be handed out. There is just me... knowing that things will be okay without the one thing that I truly desire... a significant other to laugh and grow old with.


I guess this book changed my views on the fact that I didn't realize I was so reliant on the men in my life. So reliant on how I viewed myself worth when I am without a man. ...and I know that's not good... or okay... That my worth should not lessen just because I am alone... That my loneliness is part of my struggle to "find" myself, so someone can love me for me.


...and just because the book opened my eyes to this fact doesn't mean I am over it. hook. line. and sinker. No, it just means that now I have to work that much harder not to fall into my own person trap of losing myself.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.