Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ties that Bind...

My brothers, I think, have always helped me to define who I am...and as the years continue to pass, for some reason, it amazes me the type of relationship I hold with each and every one of them.
This post follows me spending the last day and a half with 2 of my 3 brothers~ and even though my third one wasn't here, he is still involved.

My older brother, Michael, was the one not here. My conversations with Michael increasingly grow stronger. I know this may sound strange when talking of a sibling, but Michael and I truly don't know one another as the current us. We know of small snippets of what might possibly be going on in the other person's life ~ the things that we have shared with one another, but other than that, we really don't know each other as the adults that we have grown and become. There is no fault being laid here, just facts...facts that I think we both realize need to be slowly changed. Ones we know can't and won't be changed overnight...and that's okay.

Tim (my brother right below me) has just left my house. It is always a hard day for me when Tim leaves. You see, Tim lives in Wisconsin and I normally get to see him 2-3 times a year. Tim and I have a connection~one that does not include judgement upon the other, just acceptance...something I think we were both seeking when we were younger. We both know that not-so-great things happen in your life, you deal with them, and you move on. This is especially(but painfully) true when it comes to the topic of love. Tim and I have had many a conversation of how things happen for a reason ~ a person comes or goes from your life...
My heart pains for Tim, sometimes, because I know how loving a person he is and how great of an uncle he is to my boys and I want him to have that~To have a family with children of his own! But, again, these are things that you deal with and move on. Don't get me wrong - I am NOT ruling these things out for my brother - I just feel the heartache as he waits patiently for it to happen.

Nick (my youngest brother) and I have always been close. When he was a baby, I used to carry him around and pretend that he was mine (I was 5 yrs old at the time :) As we grew older, I have still had that protective nature about me when it came to Nick. I never wanted to give a tainted view of myself when it came to him...I, guess, so he could always look up to me. But as time has started to pass this year and my life started to fall down around me, I couldn't hold those veils of perfection up anymore. Through this year, Nick has see more of the real me than ever before ~ BUT like any good family member does, Nick(even with looks of shock) has continued to share more of himself with me as well, allowing the pain of my perception of perfection to not hurt as badly. You see, perfection (in someone else's eyes) is not painful, but to fall from it, does.

It amazes me how 3 people you have known since birth, that you now don't see daily, can continue to be so completely influential on your life...and they may not even know it.
Brothers-of-mine...I love you all!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I've Got A Golden Ticket....

Last night, (as I was grading the last of my papers before Christmas break), I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was showing on tv. Somehow this movie is supposed to be "related" to Christmas, but I haven't quite figured out why yet...
Shrek the Halls, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty - I completely get, but Charlie and the Chocolate Factory????

Anyways, The whole reason I am posting is because I have a little boy in my class this year that I have thought to myself all year long, "Who does he remind me of?" And last night, I was reminded! He is the spitting image of Charlie - down to the buck teeth and all!

I'm afraid I won't be able to be around him now without singing,

"I've got a golden ticket.
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye.

I never had a chance to shine.
Never a happy song to sing.
But suddenly half the world is mine.
What an amazing thing!"

Yes. I am this strange around my students also! :)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Sickness is NOT for sharing

***Disclaimer - If you date me...chances are - eventually - you'll make my blog. LOL***

For those of you that don't know, I was sick with strep for the majority of the week last week. I had been out on a couple of dates with this guy (B.) the week prior to me getting strep. (Now. Now. Step back. I know what you're thinking and No. I did NOT get it from him!)

But we were supposed to go out last Tuesday and because of my illness, I had to call and cancel. B. didn't take the news so well. I'm not sure if he thought I was trying to blow him off or what. But he showed up to my house with a dozen roses and blueberries. (Now all you romantics out there, this is where you say, "Aaaahhhh.") Don't get me wrong I am normally ALL about the romantic stuff, but when I am nasty sick, I don't want anyone around me! Yet, somehow B. didn't get this. He wanted to keep me company. I wanted to sleep. I even, at one point, did actually fall asleep - not because I was trying to give hints, but because I was so achy and out of it, that I fell asleep. Still, he lingered around. Finally, I told him that I really needed to send him on his way. Once we were at the door, he leaned in for a kiss. I stopped him. "I'm sick, remember? I don't want to get you sick too" "I'll take my chances. " he said. So he kissed me.

We rescheduled our date for yesterday (Saturday). I drove up to Springfield to meet him. He wasn't at the restaurant when I arrived, so I texted him. He said he was on his way. Twenty minutes later, he showed up. He looked like death warmed over - He was SOOOO sick.
"Why did you not just call and cancel?" I asked.
"I'm not going to cancel a date just because I am sick." he said.
(Besides not wanting to be around others when I am sick, I really have NO desire to be around others when they are sick!!!)
All I could tell him was, "Well, don't think I'm going to kiss you ~ I have no desire to be sick again!"

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Girls are cool...

My five year old informed his dad yesterday that girls are cool because they have boobs.

Really??!!! Truly??!! Is he not too young for this kind of nonsense??? I figure he might say that in like ten years, but now??

I asked him why he said it (thinking maybe his 20 year old uncle put him up to it).

Shrugging he said, "Cause Daadaa ( what he calls his uncle) asked me if I thought girls were cool and I said 'yes' and he asked me why and... boys and girls are just the same...except girls have boobs. So...why else they would be cool?"

Here's where I stepped up on my soapbox and made sure my son knew why girls were cool (even without including boobs)

Friday, December 12, 2008

no teaching HS for me

I had a meeting over in our Vo-tech building today. Our meeting was interrupted because a kid was caught out in our parking lot smoking pot and several of the administrators in our meeting had to leave to take care of it.
Then later as we walked down the hall one boy yelled to another, "Hey! Check out this sh**! As a third grade teacher, I don't hear these words very often at school and when I do, there is a reaction by all the other kids... no reaction here.
I am just glad that I teach elementary...that's all I wanted to say.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Dissed by disease

I am on a online dating website.
Overall, the men I have talked to or met are decent.
Contact normally starts with an email, then we IM, and then if the connection is still there, we talk on the phone and then go on a date.

Last night, I was on and a guy asked me if I wanted to talk via IM. "Sure." I said.
That's when the question, after question, after question came at me. Let me say, I am okay with questions...but not when they make me feel like I am on a job interview. I basically was not given a chance to ask in return. When I tried to throw a little humor out there, it was ignored and the questions continued.

When I finally answered all of his questions to his satisfaction, he said, "Okay, we can talk... but I have to tell you that I have genital herpes."

WHOA! Hold up! NOT something I am interested in at all!!! So what's the correct response to that???

me: "Thanks for being honest."
him:"So that means we are still going to talk?"
me: "Well, just because I am IMing you doesn't mean I am going to sleep with you."
him: "Where do you live again?"
him: "Oh. that's too far of a drive. nice talking to you. bye."

What???!!!! Wait a minute. You have a disease and you diss me because of distance??

Oh wait, no... it is because I won't share in your disease. Somehow... I still feel dissed.

Monday, December 8, 2008

the dinosaur has died

Okay...I admit it. I love my cell phone. I know I have become reliant on it when I realize 4 blocks from my house that I don't have it and I turn around and go back to get it. Not because I need it at that moment, but because I might.
Well, on Sunday, as I am attempting to carry one too many things, I drop mine. Now, mind you, I have had this phone for 6 years - It has survived through the drooling and throwing everything stages of both my children. It is a dinosaur in cell phone world. But it was my dinosaur and I loved it!
When I flipped it open, it would still bleep, but the screen wouldn't appear. So, I decided it wasn't damaged too badly. I would still be able to get my numbers off, I would just need a little help.
I head to my friendly cell phone store. - "Sure. we would love to help you out, but unfortunately the free phone that your insurance would cover, we are unfortunately out of. Oh, and your phone it OLD! and we no longer carry a connector to retrieve your info off of it."
SO...needless to say, I paid more than I wanted...I have lost all my contact numbers...and my dinosaur is dead. This is a day to mourn.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Ho Ho Ho...He wouldn't go

I took the boys to see Santa at Silver Dollar City on Saturday. I guess, 6,000 other people had the same idea. It was insanely crowded and all that we accomplished was seeing Santa.

However, after waiting an hour for Santa to return "from dinner with Mrs. Claus", Sam decided that he was NOT going to talk to Santa or get his picture taken with him.

Desperate times call for desperate measures - so bribery came into play.

"Do you want popcorn?" I inquire. (Sam loves popcorn.)
"Santa will give you a candy cane."
"Tell Mama what will make you smile with Santa."
"Go to the shooter balls"

Let me just tell you - I hate the "shooter balls"!!!! (The place where you shoot the little foam balls.) The sound of the air rifles gives me an immediate headache, but like I said, desperate times...

"Ok, but only if you smile with Santa."

I'm happy to say we go a lovely picture of both boys smiling with Santa. That... and I got a headache. :)