Tuesday, October 26, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day Twenty-six: giving up

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Unfortunately, yes.
Thankfully, it was many years ago... back before I had kids.
I would never do it now because of my children.
I couldn't imagine making them go throughout their lives without their mom.
I've suffered through that... I would never want that for my children.

Back when I felt like giving up, it was more out of desperation than anything.
Needing to feel like I meant enough to someone that if I wasn't around, I would be missed.
I needed that affirmation.
I remember telling R. "Well, I guess I don't matter. I might as well just kill myself."
Shocked he said, "You don't mean that!"
All I could say was, "Yes, I do." and went on to describe to him how I would do it.

I'm happy to say I never attempted anything.
I'm also happy to say that I do know know that I matter to at least two someones and I always will.

More than enough reason to keep on living!

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

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