Thursday, October 30, 2014

Over the mountain and through the woods

Well... to say things with the new guy are going well would be an understatement.

This weekend we spent some time hiking over the land he is getting ready to buy.

He keeps including me in his "future plans" like with the house that he plans to build on this land he is planning on purchasing... but it's scary to me as well... and I've told him this.

That in the past any "future plans" that were made in any of my relationships have gone awry.

In the midst of it all, I have gotten used to not making future plans to ensure I don't get hurt.

So, today, I'm not thinking about "future plans" I'm just enjoying the hike over the mountain and through the woods...

Sunday, October 26, 2014

A Ghoul Ol Time

I love dressing up and hosting parties!!

In the past few years, I have done it for my birthday, but this year I just had TOO much on my plate around that time.

Don't get me wrong, NOTHING has fallen off my plate... It's just that things seem to be "easier" right now... By easier, I mean, I have a wonderful man who likes to host as much as I do. :)

So here was our spread...

We had "Take a dip in our coffin" dip

"Finger" foods

Shrunken head punch

That had a little fog added to it

Look at that swirl coming off of it!!

Welcome...  Let me serve you!!

I love that my friends get into it as much as I do :)
Bob Ross and a Happy Little Tree

Madam Butterfly

Zach Galifianakis as Alan with Carlos

Death - can't elude him

Popeye and Olive Oyl
Sally Stitches

Look out Sally!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A birthday wish

I wake.
It's not immediately clear that you are here with me, but you are.
I go about my day.
I read off the date to my students and it hits me.
It's your birthday.
How could I have forgotten?
I stop frozen in my tracks... but only for a second because young voices call me back to the present.

Later, with the sun on my face, I admire the changing leaves.
Happy birthday to you!
Nature's own special gift.
Again, I smile.
How many times did you make the trip to see the mountains of changing colors?
Too many to count, I'm sure.

Blinking through the tears, I look to the sky and whisper a soft "Happy birthday" hoping the gentle breeze will carry my wish to you.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

floating downstream

So... first off, I know Facebook isn't private.
Not totally anyways.

But what I didn't know is that if I post something onto a public forum page, it will show up in my feed for others to read.

...and here's how my story begins...

So... I follow this public forum where the curator every so often posts - "Right Here. Right now. Tell me the 100% truth"

So I did.

I typed "The guy I'm dating mentioned me being his wife tonight... And I'm scared because we have only dated a month."

Well... guess what.  T doesn't spend a whole lot of time on FB... but as my fate has it, he logged on RIGHT after I posted that and that was the FIRST thing in his news feed.

I found it strange that he was calling me so late.

But this is the kind of guy that he is... He told me why he was calling (yes, I was completely embarrassed!!) then he explained that he had said that tongue in cheek (which I knew he had) and then he gave me a scenario.

He said,  "When we are fighting against our past fears, it is like we are trying to swim upstream. It's hard. We wear ourselves out. But when we roll over onto our back and look forward, it's like we are floating downstream.  It's easy and it takes us to where we are meant to be."

So... here's to floating downstream.

What a nasty, rainy, glorious weekend - Seriously Serious

Yeah... So I had this wonderful weekend all planned out where the boys and I would hang out with the new guy I'm dating, T. We would go to a festival nearby hanging outside all day...

Somehow, I missed watching the forecast.

And it rained... and rained... and rained some more.

This, of course, kept us inside...

But, it also kept us inside... to take time to do things we may not have otherwise.

Like playing this game...

My mother bought it for my brothers and I back in the 90's.  I honestly don't remember playing it as a kid, but when my youngest brother was cleaning out our family's home, I called dibs on it.

I had forgotten about it until I was digging through my HS stuff and I came across it again.

Sam is my game player.  Ever since I told him about it, he has begged me to get out the box and let him play it.
This rainy day just happened to be that day.

And we read fate cards like this:

If you know Branson, you know about some seriously serious traffic. LOL

Then to get out of the house, we headed to a little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop that I just stumbled upon once when Sam needed to pee. (I know.  The things we do as parents)

It is such an eclectic little place... and drinking coffee there just makes me smile.

T. also loved it.  Which added to the list of "Reasons why I like this guy..."

We then came home and T. fixed us dinner (Yep. That would make the list too...) and this just happened in my salad.

No, T. didn't plant it there... it just fell out of the bag like that, but it made me smile and solidified that this weekend was pretty great.

Who knew a nasty rainy weekend could be so glorious??

Monday, October 6, 2014

Babies... Such a nice way to start people

I know for majority of the world they would think of me as a crazy woman to say that I'm excited to go meet my ex's new baby.

And maybe I am... Crazy that is.

Or maybe I just love babies...

Or maybe I have just moved past the past and am okay with the future.

Was it emotional?  Sure. My boys were pinging off the wall with excitement and  I'm very excited my boys got to be the first to meet their sister!

Was it stressful?  Not at all.  I know that it is not only a unusual situation for me but also for K., R's gf... I mean, here I am the ex coming to see your new baby.  But I'm very thankful for K.  I'm thankful that she doesn't try to replace me, but I'm also thankful that she is okay with my presence.

And she let me snuggle that little bundle of joy... Yep, babies can't help but love them... No matter what.

My boys with their new sister, Lila Mae.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Can someone take the limelight off me? thanks.

So... I have been a fairly decent student most of my life.
I was what you would call the "ideal student."
I was quiet.  I raised my hand.  I did my work.
Teachers liked me.  I got termed "Teacher's pet" a lot.
A lot. A LOT.

As an adult, not much has changed... okay, maybe the quiet part, but I still do my best to be a good student.  And actually, not being quiet in a masters program gives me my voice to state my opinion... But I digress.

I have never really enjoyed being the teacher's pet.

I feel like it is a reason for people to have disdain for you... and deep down, all I really want is for people to like me.

So, tonight in my master's class, my professor calls me out to ask if I would consider taking on a student teacher - an undergrad that he is very close to and he thinks would fit perfectly with me.  "Sure." I say.  (No biggie.)

Later in class, he tells us he is going to read over an assignment that we turned in last week.  He said that the paper he is going to read is not perfect, but that it is a great example of what he is looking for in response to his question.

He holds up the paper to begin reading... it is written in purple ink.  Yes, I am in a class of mostly middle school and high school teachers... Me?  I'm an elementary teacher.  I don't use blue or black... I use pink and purple and turquoise...  I immediately know it is my paper.

I was honored, yet also embarrassed.

For one, because I walked out of class last week telling everyone how I felt my assignment had been horribly written.

For two, because despite the fact that he shoved my paper into the middle of the stack (so no one would know whose paper he had read), there was no denying the purple ink that lay in front of me when he handed it back.

For three, because again, I don't need/want that limelight to be shown my way.

For four, I believe that just upped the standard that I have to hold myself to... and I'm already SO tired.

So, please, turn that light somewhere else.  You're blinding me here!!

Morning Haze

The haziness of the morning light covers me like a light blanket. 

Me grateful for the warmth that it provides but yet still allowing me to feel the crispness of the morning air.

Nothing quite provides like the morning glow. 

It reminds me that a new day is ahead of me.

Everything from yesterday has been washed away. 

And this new day its just starting to shine.