Wednesday, August 28, 2013

My body is attacking me

My fall-time allergies have arrived with a vengeance.

Two days ago, the right side of my face gave up on allowing any of type air circulation to occur... while at the same time, turning that same nostril into a leaky faucet that will drip at will.

My ears hurt and I feel like a teething toddler as I pull on them and attempt not to whine.

Today, my right eye decided to join in on the fun and turned a lovely shade of up-all-night-blood-shot red.

My voice is scruffy at best and I have a dry cough to accompany it. (But at least all the coughing is adding in strong stomach muscles, right?)

I can't take in a full breath as it feels as if someone is standing on my chest.

... I'm not complaining.  I'm just saying that when you see me slack-jawed, being a mouth breather, glassy-eyed, and I ask you to repeat yourself  for a third time as I blow my nose... I'm doing the best I can until the ragweed either gets burnt up by the sun or buried under snow... whichever comes first.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. ~Clifton Fadiman

Have you ever been in that place?
...that place where the hours and the minutes just tick by...
... and you know the morning is just inching closer and closer
...but there is nothing you can do
...because the essence of slumber just won't befall on you...
...No matter how much you desire it.
...No matter how much you try to talk yourself into letting it all go from the sunlit hours
... you just can't.

So, instead, you lay listening to the sounds of the night...
the dogs and the crickets creating a night time symphony...
and the distant train rumbling down the tracks...
... wishing that it would carry your consciousness away.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety

Tomorrow is the first day of school.
...and you would think I would be up late because I was SO excited.

But I'm not... excited, that is.

I'm sure it's the fear of the unknown. (You'd think with it being my 13th year I wouldn't worry about that.)

But see... this year our principal is making us departmentalize.
And despite the fact that I have some really awesome ideas about what I want to teach the kids... I'm afraid I won't have that close bond with my students since I will have them 90 min and send them on their way.

You see... that bond, that is why I continue to teach.
I love that I can have a kid that will drive me up the wall all year long and then I miss like crazy once they move on.

My superintendent challenged our staff to make sure they are building strong relationships with our students... and that is what I'm worried about.  I will miss out on by not having them all day... and that since I will now have 75 students instead of 25, I won't connect deeply with any of them.

I've had a headache for a week... and a stomachache for 2 days... worrying about missing out on something that is yet to come.

Silly. I know.
I hope I have great things to report after the first week...