Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Just when I got used to being alone

I normally am not hesitant...
I have been in relationships.
I know the ups and downs.
I kinda know what to expect.

About a month ago, I had decided that I was good where I was at.
I was happy with it being my boys and I.
I was happy with being alone.

Everyone has always told me that when you stop looking is when it happens.
I'm not saying love... because I don't feel like I'm in love.
But I have found someone that I will let hang around for a while...

DP and I have been friends since college.
He's going through a divorce.
I have offered a listening ear.

The time we have spent together has slowly increased.
We have taken the step farther to agree that we are dating.

But I have started freaking out inside.
I like the friendship that we have... but I'm not sure I am cut out for a relationship anymore.
I would rather cut ties when things are going well than to be hurt again.
Looking back I have done this with the last few guys.

The thing is... with the last few guys, I haven't "known" them.
I know DP.
He is in my circle of friends.
So, this 'taking it to the next step' is even scarier for me because if things don't work out, not only do I lose a boyfriend, I lose a friend as well...

He and I discussed this.
We sat at my kitchen table and I told him that I would rather walk away than to get hurt.
He told me he doesn't plan on hurting me... or letting me walk away.
I guess we'll see where life decides to take me...

1 comment:

  1. It sounds great but I can see how it can be so scary! I wish I could tell you to sit back and relax but I know that is difficult for lots of people including myself. Honestly though I am so excited because you so deserve this!


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