Who knew being loyal could be a bad thing?
Looking back, I think being loyal to a fault is why I had such bad previous dating relationships...
Because the guy would act/do something that would not be beneficial to support our relationship, and me being so gosh darn loyal would somehow end up being the one trying to smooth things over when I wasn't the one who had done anything wrong.
This happened yesterday with one of my friends... and honestly it isn't the first time she has treated me this way. I went home and cried and cried about it. I just couldn't see why she would treat me this way. I spoke to a mutual friend about it - just trying to gain some clarity - was I so involved that I didn't see the true picture?
This is when my mutual friend pointed out that she has treated me this way before... and that I stood by her and made sure in the end that our friendship was back in good standing. She never apologized for her actions. It was me... Even though I didn't do anything wrong.
That was eye opening to me.
Here I was again... Feeling bad. Wanting to apologize, when I hadn't done anything wrong... Just wanting the waters to be smooth again.
I made a promise to myself many years back to stop allowing men to treat me in this way... Guess I need to extend that promise out to myself to include not allowing anyone to treat me this way.
And I need to remind myself that being loyal and being respected should go hand and hand... and that it is a requirement by both sides!
Surfing Sunday 07.15
3 days ago