What's Around the Next Bend?: What Makes You

Showing posts with label What Makes You. Show all posts

Friday, November 13, 2015

Who wants to book me some place sunny?

Lately, I have felt like all of my nerve endings have been on the outside of my body.
I know it is because my stress levels have been so high... but I have never had this sensation before - my body tingles, almost like I can feel the vibrations from the air.

I walk around like a zombie in my own body. I have been trying to sleep more, but I am waking up exhausted from dreaming all night about the things that I haven't finished during the day.

My body aches. My upper arms have always ached when I was fighting off something... that's how I always knew to boost my Vitamin C. My arms have ached for the past month. Vitamin C is no longer cutting it.

I keep telling myself that this too shall soon pass, but I'm tired of being tired and not feeling like my happy cheerful self.

I feel like anything that anyone asks of me is too much - this isn't like me - I'm the multi-tasking queen. The planning of Thanksgiving... all I can say is... Ugh. (This is normally my favorite time.)

I know it is because my brain is consistently on. If I'm not thinking about my thesis, I'm thinking about lesson plans, or my presentations. I have 3 cakes that I have coming up next month that I refuse to even look at the designs because I can't add that to my thought process right now.

Todd asks me what he can do. I tell him that I don't know what to do myself much less tell someone else how to help me. He hugs me, but right now the hugs aren't tight enough or long enough... because they don't take away the tingling... and I just need to feel like me again.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

25 more random things about me #2

My life sometimes just feels like randomness... so why not go with it??
Here and here are some other random things about me if you haven't read them before...

1. I will pause my TV when I get on my computer. This happens nightly. (I guess I can't focus on two things at once.)
2. I cannot talk and type at the same time (I'm convinced this uses the same part of my brain) and I'm jealous of people that can.
3. I turn down the radio when I am lost. (I'm seeing a theme here...)
4. When scraping icing off the side of a bowl, I make the same movement with my mouth as I did when I used to scrape baby food off the sides of my boys' mouth... I find this entirely strange, but can't help myself from doing it.
5. If you want me to remember something, I have to see it written or in text... This is especially true with names.
6. People compliment me on my long hair all the time... I'm not impressed with it.
7. Last time I had longer hair, I was also heavier... I'm secretly afraid there is a connection.
8. I miss my children, even when they are asleep in the next room.
9. I hate that only flat boots are in this season and I can't replace my black heeled boots even though I need to and I love wearing them more than any others.
10. I like to have brief but deep conversations with strangers.
11. Because of #10, I'm now not fully convinced that we haven't lived previous lives.
12. If I get to laughing, just the thought of me laughing uncontrollably makes me laugh even harder.
13. My mom used to cut out hundreds of recipes a year and try them out on us... I can almost always tell if a recipe will be amazing just by reading it.
14. I am not a morning person... yet I will sing to my children in the early morning to get them out of bed.
15. I hate ladybugs - an infested house that I cleaned in college turned me against them.
16. I have a routine that I follow in the shower, a specific spot I park at school, and cannot stand for someone to use "my" towel or mug.
17. I have become more "OCD" about things like in #16 as the years have gone by... I think it is a small way I can show I'm in control of what is happening in my life. (No, I'm not saying this is healthy. LOL)
18. One of my biggest fears is becoming mentally unstable like my father... So I purposefully break away from my own OCD tendencies just to prove it to myself that I am mentally okay.
19. I shaved my arms once as kid because my mom refused to let me shave my legs. My arms itched for weeks as the hair grew back.
20. My son, Sam, loves for me to "steamroll" him, so I do. It makes me laugh every time!
21. I plan to save my first year's extra money from my pay raise from my masters and go overseas.
22. I have always loved babies... and still wish I would have one more.
23. I used to keep pet spiders as a kid and do experiments on them (like see if a small established spider would take out a larger newly introduced spider). I wish kids these day were inclined to do things like this.
24. I know most people that just read #18 REALLY think I'm weird now, but I don't care.
25. I know several people personally that have written books (and I have signed copies from them) and I think that maybe one day I will write one too...