Looking up

As I stepped out into the cold brisk night tonight, I stopped and looked up.
The Big Dipper glistened in the cold winter air.
... and I realized that is what I have forgotten to do lately...
to look up.

To say that I have been overwhelmed lately would be an understatement.
I have definitely been down.
This, in turn, has caused me to be cynical with others around me and to just curl up inside myself... If I could have cocooned myself, I would have by now.

But tonight, as I stood outside (much longer than I normally would in these freezing temps), I realized that is what I had forgotten to do lately... Just to look up.

At the beautiful sky.
At all of my family and friends around me.
At the fact that I am ALMOST done with this master's degree and it actually hasn't killed me.(I turned in my thesis paper tonight... So, yes, that helped in not being hunkered down any more. :)
At all the positive things this life is offering me.

Yep, things are looking up.

Beekeeping - 2 weeks in

So... like a proud momma, I was SOOO happy to check on my bees today and see that the queen is successfully doing her job!!

Look at that larva!!

And then I pulled 2 frames apart and saw the MOST amazing thing... a bee bridge!!
This is where bees hold onto one another to allow others to pass.
Crazy awesome!!

Friday the 13th

I'm not superstitious.
I'm really not.

However, I do believe that you should never plan too far ahead and be completely flexible... because things will always ultimately change... no matter HOW much planning you have done.

Todd and I started planning a trip to Alaska two weeks ago.  We had a friend that told us that he could help us out with tickets.

I was hesitant to tell people because that sets plans in stone (the very thing I don't like...).  Todd happily posted it on FB.

Today I learned that what my friend meant was that he could get us put on the waiting list.

That's all well and good... except we don't want our Alaskan trip to be spent in the airport... and since we will go in the summer which is the MOST popular time to go...

We have decided to just bite the bullet and pay for it ourselves.

YIKES!

I feel bad that I was the one with the friend and got us all giddy with excitement to go to a place we both have always wanted to go...

So... here's to believing everything will work out... because I'm not superstitious.
I'm really not.

What a nasty, rainy, glorious weekend - Seriously Serious

Yeah... So I had this wonderful weekend all planned out where the boys and I would hang out with the new guy I'm dating, T. We would go to a festival nearby hanging outside all day...

Somehow, I missed watching the forecast.

And it rained... and rained... and rained some more.

This, of course, kept us inside...

But, it also kept us inside... to take time to do things we may not have otherwise.

Like playing this game...

My mother bought it for my brothers and I back in the 90's.  I honestly don't remember playing it as a kid, but when my youngest brother was cleaning out our family's home, I called dibs on it.

I had forgotten about it until I was digging through my HS stuff and I came across it again.

Sam is my game player.  Ever since I told him about it, he has begged me to get out the box and let him play it.
This rainy day just happened to be that day.

And we read fate cards like this:

If you know Branson, you know about some seriously serious traffic. LOL

Then to get out of the house, we headed to a little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop that I just stumbled upon once when Sam needed to pee. (I know.  The things we do as parents)

It is such an eclectic little place... and drinking coffee there just makes me smile.

T. also loved it.  Which added to the list of "Reasons why I like this guy..."

We then came home and T. fixed us dinner (Yep. That would make the list too...) and this just happened in my salad.

No, T. didn't plant it there... it just fell out of the bag like that, but it made me smile and solidified that this weekend was pretty great.

Who knew a nasty rainy weekend could be so glorious??

Morning Haze

The haziness of the morning light covers me like a light blanket. 

Me grateful for the warmth that it provides but yet still allowing me to feel the crispness of the morning air.


Nothing quite provides like the morning glow. 

It reminds me that a new day is ahead of me.

Everything from yesterday has been washed away. 

And this new day its just starting to shine.

All you need is love... love... love is all you need

With all of the snow days that we have had, February began without me really even thinking about it.  Our first day of school here in this month was just on Tuesday...  Which left me in shell-shock because that meant I had to get mentally prepared for a Valentine's Day party just a few days into returning to school.

Let me explain for all of you non-teachers out there... Some teachers love parties. Some don't.

I fall into the LOVE category, but I have to get my mind set for them.  I have to remind myself that there is going to be ciaos and that the perfect laid plans will ALWAYS go awry.

But not only do I have to mentally prepare myself for the party this year, but I have to mentally prepare myself for the fact that I'm single... with no prospects.

With all of preparation going on at the last minute, my children brought back to reality. (in the wonderful way that they do.)  They reminded me what this "love" holiday is all about...

Tonight, as they were getting ready for bed, they were talking in the bathroom while they were supposed to be brushing their teeth.

I went that direction to hurry them along.

I got stopped by Sam. "Mom, could I have $2.00?"

"What for?" I inquired.  (You see, the 4th graders are selling "valentines" for $2.00 that come in the form of a soda and a candy bar and I had already doled out money earlier in the week for them to pick 2 friends to send them to.)

"So I can send someone a valentine."  

I began to protest, but Sam continued.  "There is a boy in my class that I know that is already getting four valentine treats... FOUR! Who needs four, mom?!  But there is another boy in my class and I know he won't get any.  He doesn't have much money and I know his parents won't send him one like you are sending us one... I just... I just don't want him not to get one when someone else is getting four..."

Colby then came up behind Sam and said, "Sam asked me what he should do about it... I told him the only right thing to do was to send him one... even though we already sent our two."

 Then Sam sheepishly looked at me and said, "Mom?  Do you think I could take a Valentine box to him too?  I doubt he'll have one of those... and he hasn't been able to take his art project home yet because he doesn't have a good box to put it in."

"Sure... I'll see what I can do."

I did my best to fight back the tears as I located $2.00, a Valentine's day box that I had planned to send cookies in (a paper plate will do), and a sturdy little box that won't let a ceramic dog get crushed on its way home...
I have received the BEST Valentine's day gift...My boys have empathy... and the core of empathy is love.

Who knew it would spread so quickly?

My principal came up to me and said, " What did you do to R.W.? She has changed. Seriously. She is like a different kid."

I don't know why... but I got completely embarrassed.
I then shared my little secret of the 'I love you' squeeze.

My principal then hugged me and said, "Giving them what they need... that's what I love about you.  You have probably forever changed her."

Our computer teacher was listening into our conversation and piped up and said that she had seen R.W. in the hallway yesterday and (knowing how naughty she can be) she asked her if she could join her in walking back to my classroom.  R.W. quickly grabbed her hand, squeezed three times, and said, "This is mine and my teacher's special 'I love you' squeeze."

I guess I never really thought about how something so small could mean so much... and others would notice so quickly.

Oh give thanks...

Day 1 - People will be here in four days. MUST. start. cleaning.
Day 2 - All toilets have been scrubbed. All towels and bed sheets have been washed. Three days - SO much to do!
Day 3 - Go home sick from work. Running a fever. Aches. Sore throat. Head to the doctor. Two days - gonna take that long to get well.
Day 4 - Bake pies... take naps in between. One day to go. Make children vacuum and put dishes away.  Decide a spotless house is overrated.
Day 5 - Guests arrive. Feeling better. Sheets are back in the washer in hopes to NOT get visitors sick. Eat TOO much food. Stay up half the night shopping.
Day 6 - Entertain guests.  Unload and reload the dishwasher 3 times. Hope that some of this food leaves with them. Wish for a nap.
Day 7 - Everyone showers, eats, and packs up. Say your goodbyes. Sit down in a house with a sink of dirty dishes, a laundry room full of dirty towels and sheets, a refrigerator full of leftovers you don't want to eat.

Yep. LOTS to be Thankful for.

Who will make my lemons into lemonade?

Earlier this year, I wrote about an Sonny, an elderly gentleman who works at our local amusement park.
A couple weeks ago, I stopped at Sonny's lemonade stand like usual.  We greeted each other warmly and I asked Sonny what was new with him.
With a beam across his face and a glint in his eye, he told me he was retiring.
His reasoning??
His 86 year old brother had fallen ill and his handicapped nephew would now need his help. So he was retiring to take care of the both of them.
I jokingly told him he wasn't retiring, just changing jobs... but that I was glad he could be there for his family.

Customers began filing into line behind me, so I told Sonny congrats again and that we would miss him...
I walked away.
My bestie, Laura, looked at me and said, "You're not done with him, are you?"
I silently shook my head.
"Go" she said. "Go do your thing, so you don't have regrets."

So, I turned back around and got back in line.
Sonny gave me a smile and a questioning look.
"When's your last day again?"    "Next Saturday"
 "And what time do you work on that day?"    "11-6"
"And what's your favorite type of pie?"  "Now... you don't have to do that!"
I smiled and told him that I knew I didn't have to, but that I wanted to...

He finally concluded that cherry pie would be nice.

So, cherry pie it was...
except...I had never made cherry pie before...
Others, yes. Cherry, no.

But that didn't stop me.
I had cake deliveries galore...
I had thought that I wasn't sure where I was going to squeeze my pie delivery in...
The boys joined me and at 4:30 we arrived in Sonny's line.
There were lots of people there... and I saw that same mundane action and the deadness in his eyes that I saw the first time I met Sonny.
I told the boys that we would wait until there were less people.
A gentleman walked up and said, "Excuse me. Are you in line?"
I responded, "Kinda... we're here to see the one serving the lemonade..."
"Oh! Must be grandpa." as he smiled.
I smiled back... yep, that is why Sonny touched my heart that first day... because he reminded me of my grandpa.

When the line cleared, the boys and I walked up. Sonny didn't notice at first, his head was down.
"Hey Sonny!"
He looked up and smiled. "I thought you had forgotten..."  
"Sonny, I will never forget you!"

We handed him his pie and we stood and talked until his lines filled up with customers again.
We gave hugs and said our goodbyes... knowing I may never see Sonny again...

... and knowing that I would never quite enjoy frozen lemonade quite the same ever again.

It is far better to give than to receive!!!

I sent out a note on Monday letting parents know that instead of the normal $5 boy buys boy gift and girl buys girl gift, their child was to bring in 23 little items.

I knew my reasoning behind it.
Today I had to express why...  I guess I should have all along.

I had a parent write a note back telling me, "Thanks a LOT for the heads up on this!! Guess you thought I was made of money."


Ouch.
I mean, buying 23 little items... like pencils, or erasers, or candy... I had explained all that in my note... things that would equal less than $5 for the whole class.

I thought I was doing a good thing here... all the kids would get the same thing. Caring and sharing.

So I called the mom.
I learned of a lost job and a soon-to-be foreclosed home.
I heard a stressed out momma.

I told her that I didn't want to add any more to her plate... that I would make sure her daughter has something to pass out... for her not to worry about it.

"Okay???" I asked.
There was silence on the other end... and then sobbing.
I continued talking, reassuring while she regained herself.
"I don't want my daughter to feel less than the others because she doesn't bring something."


And here is where I shared what I have been teaching my students, but I forgot to share the concept with their parents...

We have been writing 'The Gift of Kind Words'...where every student writes something kind to every classmate.  I have been teaching the kids that things don't need to be expensive to be meaningful.  That is why they were to bring little items... just to share in the joy of giving, not to impress with big expensive items.

After I explained all of that, I told the mom, "So, please. Let me get your daughter's gift for you.  Let me keep from adding another burden to your load. Consider this my gift to you."


She never told me yes...
but she never told me no either.

Kindness!!!... because you never know the battles others are fighting

Colby had been having a girl pick on him in the lunch room.

I called him last night to find out what happened.

He told me that A stole his note like always... but to her surprise the note was for her.

She asked him if he had written the note.

"Nope. My mom did."

She told him that she loved it!

That her mom and dad had been having lots of problems lately.

That she was sad... and scared. 

Then she told him, "I love it when you spend the night at your mom's house!"

Yeah...  I think Colby's lunch is going to have an extra note in it for a while...

Kindness... pass it on

"25.47" the cashier repeats.
The woman's face flushes.
She glances downward at the bills in her hand.
Then she turns to her elderly mother, "Mom, figure out what we can put back... just one thing and we'll be fine."
At the risk of intruding, I ask, "How much do you need?"
"Ummmm... 47 cents"
"Here, I've got it." I say, digging before the woman can respond.
"Thank you so much!!"

As the woman and her mother walk away, everyone around is surprised by the kindness and starts to vocalize how wonderful it was that I did that... I would hope that if I hadn't, someone else would have.

An elderly man works behind the lemonade stand.
One after another folks walk up, place their order, pay, get their drink and leave.
No conversation is passed between them.
The man barely looks up at them.
It's mundane... one after another.
I step up to his stand.
"It's a hot one out, huh?  I come to your cart every time I come here 'cause you have the best frozen lemonade here!  I don't like that fake stuff."
He looks up at me and smiles... you can tell this is the first real conversation he has had all day.
"Well, then, This one's on me." he says.
I reach out to shake his hand and to thank him.
He holds on.
I smile and and give his hand a little squeeze.
"Thanks. You made my day." he says.
"No, thank you... you made mine."


Remember... it's not the big things that mean the world...

Drunk on Adrenaline - Day 1 - Show Me Music and Arts Fest

(I originally was going to do this in one post... but I 'm seeing that you would be reading forever, so I am breaking it up into the 3 days... and 3 posts)

I have had the MOST fabulous weekend!!
I had high hopes going into this weekend, but I could have NEVER foreseen how much I truly would have enjoyed a 3-day music and arts festival.

You see... back in Feb., I heard that my FAVORITE band, OneRepublic, was going to play near my house.
I seriously would travel anywhere to see them! (If funds allowed...)
So the fact that they were practically going to be playing in my backyard...
Well... DUH!!  I was, of course, going to buy a ticket!!

I facebooked ALL of my friends... "Who wants to join me??"
No response.
Seriously.

Finally, I convinced my friend, Rachel, to join me ONLY because of the country music stars playing.
I thought this weekend would never get here.
Trust me.
I have had a rough school year (to say the least).
I needed something for me.
THIS was solely  for me!

Day 1
Rach and I get there after both working a full day.
We're tired, but we are trying to make the best of it.

We head to see Chef Robert Irvine from Food Network's Dinner Impossible. 

I don't have high expectations.
I mean, he's a TV celeb for Pete's sake.
They're all hoity-toity, right??

Boy, could I have ever been wrong!!

First things, first, it was about a million-gazillion degrees out.
Okay... so I exaggerate... but trust me...  the term "like a whore sweating in church" does come to mind.

So... what does hoity-toity Robert Irvine do??
He starts chucking HIS water bottles into the crowd and telling his service people to find more. (Yes, Rach & I got one!)
Then he says that he was saving an alcoholic slushy for later in the show, "But what the heck, let's break it out now!"

He was so personable!
He involved kids.

He brought a local young chef from the audience up to come up and help him out.

He talked about the real reason he was at the fest was because he came to volunteer in Joplin and because he was so close, he knew the proceeds from this weekend would benefit Joplin as well.
He thoroughly impressed me!! (and that was even before  he signed an autograph for me :)

Rach and I don't think we can top that experience...I mean, to meet a hoity-toity personable celeb.

So, since our stomachs were growling, we headed down the line of traveling food trucks.
I was so hot, nothing sounded good.
Then we reached The Traveling Taco truck.

"Best Fried Taco EVER!" the sign read.
I'll be the judge of that.

OMG!!!
They weren't kidding!!
Rach and waddled away from there wondering what our taste buds had just experienced.

But, of course, we couldn't stop there... Oh no.
We also went for the Fried Snickers... oh yes!!
(There should be a picture here to show you... except the fried snickers was inhaled... maybe next time.)
Needless to say, it was delish as well.

See??  All this excitement and we hadn't even made it to the concert portion of the night.
As we located a spot to stand (yeah... we didn't come prepared with lawn chairs),

 I saw this guy in front of us:

and I was like, "Really??  Who wears earplugs to a music concert??"


Then the music started playing.
"OMG!!  My ears!!! I think they're bleeding!!"


Okay... I'm totally kidding!
I mean, even if they were, I wouldn't admit it because in my brain music that is too loud is admitting that you have offically reach the mark of "old"
"Turn down that racket sonny!!" is what plays in my brain.
So... I might have lost part of my hearing this weekend... but I'm not old!

For our listing pleasure through my bleeding-deaf ears, we got to hear:
REO Speedwagon

Yes, I was catapulted back to middle school slow dances... where I was the wall flower wishing I was dancing with the popular boy.

Don't laugh.

In this pic, I am desperately holding back tears.

Okay... again, I kid.

I mean, not about the wallflower bit... or the pining over boys bit... those are SOOO very true.

But about the crying... I was having TOO good of time to cry.

Who could cry with hair whip-age like this going on??

Next came Trace Adkins.

I have to confess...
I'm not a big Trace Adkins fan, especially when he lets his hair down.

I get it.
This does it for some women...just not me.

I also have another confession.... (Wow.  Where did all of these confessions come from??  And it's not even Friday!!)

I might have snickered at this guy early in the evening...

But when the crowd started pushing forward... He was not a bad guy to have by your side.

Well... There you have it...Day 1

I promise more excitement to come!!

Things that MIGHT make you jealous of me this week

I got raptured. LOL
What??!!  You think I would get raptured without my phone in hand and sunglasses on my head?? heehee

I know.  I know. You are SO TOTALLY jealous!
(This is NOT impressive to my family since they ARE dairy farmers!
But my students had fun on the field trip no matter. :)

I bought this...

and this...

and this...

AND this all for $4.25!!!

Yes... Summer has OFFICIALLY started!!!
(at least till summer school starts... but I'm basking in this glory for right now :)

I'm still here. (!!!)

Have you ever felt braindead?  That's how I feel currently... hense the lag in blogging.
I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say...

(Doesnt that make you want to keep reading?)

I'm back to not sleeping.
But it's strange, I'm running on near to nothing and surprisingly enough, I'm making it.
I have been taking every second and utilizing it.

I have taken the time to just enjoy...

...smiles on my boys faces. (Aren't they getting SO big?!!!)

...Watching them play!!!



... loving that my niece loves me as much as I love her!!!



...reveling in the fact that she too is growing too fast!!!

...watching her take it all in!!!

...seeing those new top teeth!!! :)

...seeing the first evidence of spring!!!

Yeah... even being braindead, I have nothing to complain about this week.
What are you thankful for?

Whenever you need me, Just call, and I'll be there

My younger brother calls me tonight.
He is asking for advice... and needing a listening ear.
My boys kept saying, "You're still on the phone with Uncle Tim??!!"

After I am finally off the phone, I explained to my boys that when they are grown, they will call each other just to talk or for advice.
...or maybe they will call me.

Then fighting my voice from cracking, I say, "I wish I could still call my mom still sometimes..."

You can see Sam's wheels turning. "Is she in heaven?" he asks.
"Yep." I reply nodding.

"Well... then... you can call up to heaven, Mom... it's called a prayer."

Such insight for a five year old.

And for this, I am thankful

I know I complain sometimes...
but I shouldn't.

I have a family...
a family that extends way beyond bloodlines.

I have friends...
friends that get my quirky nature and love me for it... and that I consider family.

I have my children...
who allow me to fulfill my childhood dream on a daily basis and make my life complete.

I am healthy...
I don't have the scare of facing a doctor on a weekly basis telling me my days are numbered.

I have a job...
a job that even though the majority of the world tells me they could never do, I love it!

I have a home...
not just a roof over my head, but a home, a place that I enjoy coming to, a place of security and comfort.

I have faith...
that has sustained me through many trials and tribulations and even though I sometimes feel alone... I truly know I am not.

I know I complain sometimes...
but I shouldn't...
for I have much  more to be thankful for than I have to complain about...
and for this, I am thankful.

What are you thankful for?

Intentional Happiness

What makes you happy??

Snow DAZE !!!

In the past two weeks, we have been in school three days.

Thankfully, my boys make it worthwhile.

Things that made me happy this week...

A little "penguin sledding"

A little snowman building

A few games inside





Rushing to get out into the wilderness





Finding a little abandoned shed



hiking down to the creek bed






being amazed at what we found



The beauty of what God has given us

Feet dragging...Not wanting to go home

Yeah... Spending time off with my boys is full of !!!

Intentional Happiness... What makes you