Saturday, September 20, 2014

Listening to good advice

The reason I like hanging out with guys is that they give you a perspective that females just can't give.
Also, with guys most things are face value (girls... yeah, most of the time not, unfortunately.)
I have some great guy friends!

One of my guy friends J. recently told me that if a guy I dated didn't treat me as well as he treated me, then he wasn't worth my time.

I found that funny at the time... but it got me thinking.

I know that I haven't always had the greatest self-worth... and because of this, I allowed myself to be treated poorly.

I would never allow my friends to treat me poorly.  I tell them I don't need that type of drama... and yet, time after time, I allowed guys to treat me as such.

So... I decided to put myself back out into the dating world with this new mindset. "Would J. treat me this way?"

I have gone on two dates with a guy,  So far, he has proven himself to be up to that standard.  He keeps telling me that we will take it slow because I am special. (Yep, that's def. something J. would tell me ~ even though I tell him I don't always believe it)

I'm scared... because I would rather be single then to be treated poorly again. So, I'm baby stepping it.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Holding onto my 30's as tightly as I can

I have loved my thirties.
I gone through incredible trials and tribulations in my thirties, but I have also become a stronger, more confident woman throughout them.

I honestly love celebrating my birthday... Until this year.

This year came with some trepidation.
Coming to the end of an era... One that I have loved so much.

So, I specifically didn't plan anything. No party. No get together. Nothing.
I had decided that it would be fine if the boys and I just spent it together... alone.

However, my wonderful circle decided different.
First, my brothers, Nick & Tim and their families came down on Friday night and cooked me dinner.

Then, Saturday we all went and hung out at the butterfly palace.

After I dropped the boys off with their dad and everyone else headed home, I thought I would be alone with my thoughts of how depressing 39 actually is...

Until my bestie calls to tell me to get my butt up to her house.  (That's why I keep her around ;)  We ate and laughed and talked well into the night.

Sunday I recovered. LOL

Monday (when my actual birthday rolled around) one of my co-workers decorated my door way - First time that has ever happened!

Students brought me gifts.

Then I got treated to dinner with more family!!

Yeah... even when I don't have anything in the plan book, I'm sure glad God does.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

When it all becomes worthwhile

I struggled this summer not really taking a break...
I taught summer school, I tutored a little girl that was heading into first grade (her mom was worried she was behind in the reading), and I took master's classes.

I knew with all of this going on I really couldn't leave town for a vacation... I might have complained (just a little).

I like it when this come into focus... and this crazy summer finally has for me.

First off - Normally, I use my summer school earnings to pay for our vacation.
This year, my air conditioner decided to completely die... due to us not going anywhere, I had the cash on hand to pay for it - Sure, a new air conditioner is not as fun as a vacation, but I wouldn't trade my cool house right now for 2 weeks of fun.

Secondly, I got a text from the little girl's mom this week...
She said, "G. said today that they pulled each kid out of the room to test them on their Kindergarten and 1st grade sight words.  G. knew most of them and she was super proud of herself! When the testing was over the teacher came over and told G. that she was one of the top kids to know her sight words. Very, very thankful for your time spent with her this summer!

Thirdly, I realized that I am half way through my master's program!!!  In a year from now, I will be completely done!

Sometimes I just need to remind myself that good things are coming...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Just what the doctor ordered

Okay.  So I realize I have been in a funk...
But I laughed SO hard today!

To start off, my class (that I absolutely adore) gave some of the best answers to the questions I was asking!  They are so quick witted and I love that I can laugh and joke with them!

Then this evening, I hung out with a friend.
We laughed and joked and carried on.

I think that is what my body/mind/soul needed.
I needed to have that type of belly laugh where you can't breathe.
I needed to remember what it was like to be around people that get my crazy sense of humor and play off it.
It truly is.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The worst place to be

She walked into the room that was filled with friends.
The laughter engulfed her ears.
The familiarity should be there.
She should feel comfortable...
...but she didn't.

She was surrounded by couples.
She was the only single.
A role she should be okay with by now...
But, for some reason... today, it hit her wrong.

She was expected to sit..
Her safe place (with her children) was not available - they were by their friends.

As her head swirled, she tried to not look indecisive... alone.
But that is what she was... alone, in a room full of people.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Eyes are the window to your soul - RIP Robin Williams

I don't normally get caught up in the world of celebrities...  I feel bad for their families, but I don't have a heartfelt connection to them.

Robin Williams was different for me.
Mork and Mindy was one of the first tv shows I remember watching.
I watched it religiously.
I'm not sure I really understood the plot line at the time (I was 7 when the show ended), but I do remember his eyes...
They were like wells that ran deep.
I would sit mesmerized by them.
I honestly didn't know there were eyes that blue in the world.

As years past, I remember a movie coming out with him in it and I told one of my friends "I want to see that movie because Robin Williams plays in it!!
Their response was "Who?"
I shook my head because I knew I couldn't explain the entity of him if they didn't already know.

I know it sounds strange, but I feel like he was looking off the screen straight at me and, in turn,  I could see into his deep being through those eyes of his.

I loved how they sparkled even when he was playing a scene that was sad.
I guess that's what saddens me the most... that in those sparkling eyes that connected to me like no other actor ever has... he, himself, was so very lonely.

He will be sorely missed...

Friday, August 1, 2014

I'm normally ready

Normally by this time of summer I have had my fill of fun.
I have stayed up WAY too late and slept in.
I have traveled and felt like I actually had time with my boys.
And, normally, I'm ready for school to start.

But this summer, I taught summer school ... and tutored... and took master's classes.
I know in the long run this is a good thing...
but here we are, at the time I should be heading into my classroom to get everything ready...
and I'm not ready.