Saturday, July 31, 2010
My new guy picked me up from the airport.
We spent the evening together... nothing big, just dinner and headed to my house to watch a movie.
He asked me, "We've been dating a little more than 3 weeks, right?"
As a guy, I didn't really expect him to remember.
That's when we calculated back..."July 8th, huh?" he asked.
We realized it was our 3 week "anniversary".
He told me (jokingly) to make sure I didn't get that date mixed up with our wedding anniversary.
I told him, "Wow. You actually went there. Mr. 'When did we start dating again' "
But, in all actuality, it kinda freaked me out.
He's a nice guy ...and I enjoy my time with him ...and we've talked about trying not to rush things.
But him calling me pet names ... and mentioning wedding dates again makes me want to run for the hills.
Seriously... Is there something wrong with me?
I stayed with guys (now looking back) that were really sh***y to me and here I am with a great guy who has been nothing but honest and kind and respectful of me... and I want to run!
I sometimes feel like someone needs to come knock some sense into me...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Seeing my brother SO happy!!! and the woman that makes him that way!!!
My temporary crown that chose to come out!!!
My 2nd pedi ever!!!
What makes you !!!
Join Bad Mommy Moments with your Intentional Happiness
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I plan everything out... I follow the airport's guidelines and have my liquids packed and ready.
My bag goes through the machine.
I get flagged.
I'm told I will need to wait as they look through my bag.
I keep thinking, "What could have caught their attention? I just have clothes in there."
Until they open my little purse that I had stowed away my tampons in.
Yep, that's right...My tampons almost became a breach of airport security.
You could tell the guard was embarrassed that he had stopped me for such things.
It actually made me giggle.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I told my friend Laura that I was going to end things with the new guy.
"Why???" she wanted to know.
"I don't know... I just am."
And then she did what a great friend does... she explained what she had seen and hear come out of me the last two weeks about him... and then she said, "Don't run because other guys have been sh*tty to you in relationships!"
That's when I realized that I could potentially be a "runner".
You know, one of those people that run as soon as they think a relationship might be "serious".
I don't want to be a runner... but I also don't want to get hurt. I realize that neither previous relationship hurt me in the beginning, but I guess that is the scary part. I got completely invested before they screwed me over.
So... I'm going to try to give this guy a chance... and try not to run.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
We were recapping this year's Vacation Bible School successes and areas of improvement.
We looked to our calendars for next year's VBS.
I started to have a panic attack.
Like I couldn't breathe.
Somehow, skipping ahead a whole year, made me almost lose it.
My ears turned off of the conversation in front of me.
My brain reeled at what life would throw at me a year from now.
Some things are just givens... new school year, new class of students.
But those aren't the things I was thinking of...
No, I was thinking of my boys ...and how they will have changed ...and how I won't remember how they are now because they are already 5 and 7 and most days I feel like I blink my eyes and they are doing something new or they aren't doing something that I used to think was so cute ...and I wonder if they will remember the good times that we had this summer even though I can't afford to take them on a trip across the country like their dad is preparing to do ...and ...and ...and
...and that is about the time I had to remind myself to breathe.
As everyone else is still throwing out suggestions for next year's VBS, I sit quietly reminding myself that time hasn't flown by yet. That time isn't lost. That I will fully and completely enjoy my next four days with my boys before they are gone for ten.
Monday, July 19, 2010
...that I don't take compliments easily.
...that I'm not used to someone opening my door.
...that I'm not always as confident in myself as I should be.
But he's also noticed
...that I'm comfortable around his daughter.
...that I like to have my hand held.
...that little things mean a lot to me.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!
(oh. wait. you will... you're spending it with me!!! ;)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Yeah... that's NOT happening!!!!
It's bad enough that he follows my blog... and thinks he has a say so in what I do or say.
I mean we are divorced for a reason.
Sure... I think it is great that we are civil towards each other.
That's what is best for our boys.
But I don't care to share my latest and greatest with him.
He threatened to post as his FB status that I was dating one of his student's father and the ex-wife's son plays on our boys' ball team.
Sure... that's true . I'm not ashamed of it.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
He's not married.
Big whoop that R. has his daughter in class!
Big whoop that a kid that plays on the boys' ball team has a momma who has an ex!
Big whoop that I have decided to date that momma's ex!
I am slowly learning that I have been with men that liked to control me, but I'm done.
Done being told what to do.
Done being told how & when to do things.
I'm living my life for me and for my boys
...and all those that feel otherwise can just kiss my a**!!!!!
My ex just called to say he has scabies.
...and since we share custody with our boys, he could potientially share them with me!
I don't know if it is all children that get these things, but I have just about had my fill!!!
In the past 3 years, we have dealt with pinworms, Molluscum Contagiosum, and now scabies.
Yes, I am taking today to sanitize my house ...just in case.
I don't want to get my hopes up that he might actually be a good guy...I've been burned too many times before.
I don't want to not show the giddiness that is taking over me... because I wonder if I'm jumping in too quickly.
but more than anything...
I don't want let him to get away ...because of all of my fears.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I mean look!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
But eventually... if you really want to get to know the person, you have to ask the hard questions. You have to let the skeletons out of the closet and air of of that stinkin' dirty laundry. Because then (and only then) do you really start to get to know the person and why they are the way they are.
Most people probably don't ask those questions on date #2.
I'm not out in the dating pool to tiptoe around... I want to know those answers sooner rather than later.
So... I asked them.
"Why are you divorced?" "What went wrong in your marriage?" "What would you change if you could?"
But he asked them too.
"You seemed like you were head over heels for Spencer, are you sure that is definitely over?"
And do you know what???
Those questions didn't kill him or me... in fact, they showed me that this might be a guy I'd like to have stick around for more than a date or two...