Off my back porch
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Off my back porch
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I remember when Sam was a week old. I had taken him in to the doctor for a check-up on his circumcision.
We were taken back to a room and a nurse came in to get his vitals. You could tell she was new at this as she appeared more than a little nervous.
I had undressed Sam all except for his diaper. He may have only been a week old...but I was not a newcomer to little boys and exposed areas.
The nurse asked me to go ahead and remove his diaper...she wanted to take his temperature. About that time, Sam let out a little grunt. I smiled at the nurse and said, "I think we'd better wait a few minutes."
Her lips pursed. She looked at me like I was questioning her authority. She might have been new but she didn't want her authority questioned... "It will take me just a second," she said.
"I really think we should wait just a minute."
"The doctor will want to know his temperature before he comes in...I need to take his temperature." she said exasperated.
"Okay" I said.
I gently lay Sam down on the table and removed his diaper. The nurse grabbed ahold of Sam's ankles and lifted them high into the air. "Uh...you may not." The laser beams that shot out of her eyes stopped me mid-sentence.
I closed my mouth.
About the time she breached Sam's buttocks with the thermometer, a flood of mustard colored slimy liquid baby poo exploded from Sam. It covered her completely. (I mean she did have his legs in the air aiming him right at her.) She started screaming, "Oh. Oh. Oh." The look of shock could not be hidden as she ran from the room.
It took all of me to not say, "I told you so."
Sunday, January 24, 2010
But there are days that I wish I could censor who read my blog that particular day....because I have people from work, my ex, and my boyfriend who all follow my blog.
and sometimes....just sometimes, all the censorship hurts my head.
When some college girls came in the other day, they were talking about their butts. So, R. (having seen these girls in before) mentioned her self-consciousness.
Today, when they came back in, they told her that they had been talking....and they agreed that she has a nice looking a$$!
So, R. and I started coming up with scenarios that we have experienced:
People might think you are a lesbian...
...if another female comments on your a$$
...if another female wants to buy your drink.
...if you are talking with your girlfriend at a bar and seem to be enjoying each other's company (yeah...who knew guys took two girls talking as playing for the other team??)
Have you ever had this experience??
Don't get me wrong...I am by no means a homophobe! But do I *heart* men!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
This weekend I insisted that Spencer spend it with his children and his children alone. Even though I have never tried to make it a competition between them and me, it is.
Two weekends ago, I went down to see him. We decided that we weren't going to go do anything big, just stay in and play board games and cards with the kids. But when I won the first round, (I'm sorry but I don't throw games for my 4 and 6 year old and I am definitely not throwing them for a 12 year old!) his son was done. I'm guessing, his son felt like the focus was off him and on me.
So this weekend, he was home and had his kids. They didn't stay home. They went to the movies, to one of Spencer's friend's houses to let the kids play, and then out skating with another friend and her kids.
So...tonight when he told me, "Don't take this wrong... but it was a really good weekend without you here." It took all of me to not say, "Bite me!"
But I didn't. I looked at the big picture. I thought, what's wrong with our relationship if it was better without me there?
And the answer is... that he has to decide how to split his attention~me or his kids? I wish I could say that there is no right answer, but there is...it should always be his kids.
Which brings up SO many other questions... like where is the happy median between me and his kids? What do we need to do so can we move forward now that we have addressed the elephant in the room? Is there a true future in our relationship?
Remember when dating was easy??
...oh, wait...I don't! Guess I just thought it sounded like the thing to say.
Friday, January 22, 2010
I have had a horrible headache almost ALL week.
Last Saturday, I went out with my friend Laura and we had some drinks.
On Sunday, I wasn't feeling the greatest and I attested it to the drinks from the night before....but it didn't end like a hangover should.
Monday and Tuesday I had a dull pain but nothing that I couldn't handle.
By Wednesday though, I felt as if someone had reached into the top of my head and had started to squeeze my brain into mush.
I'm not one to take lots of medicine (despite the fact that my mom was a nurse). If I can sleep it off, I will try. I went to bed right after my children.
Yesterday I was back to the dull ache.
This morning I was SOO relieved to wake up with no headache!
But now it is back.
...and I hurt.
So forgive me that I don't have some witty post to share with you.
I promise I will do better when my brain is no longer mush.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
That my expectations for past students are just that...expectations... and once they leave my classroom those expectations should be forgotten.
But they aren't.
You can ask me about a previous student and I can tell you that as their third or fourth grade teacher what I expected to come of them as they got older.
I had a student my fourth year of teaching that I adored! She was the perfect student, was a great athlete, and had a wonderful family! My expectations for her were set that much higher because of the potential that I saw in her as a fourth grader. It was six years ago that I had her in class. She is now a junior in high school.
I found out today that she is pregnant.
I am crushed.
My expectations were not met.
Again, I realize that once a student leaves my classroom my expectations do not matter.
I am just a blip on the radar screen of their life.
But when a student with so much potential doesn't meet my expectations, I wonder where they could have possibly gone down the wrong path. How could they have changed so much in the last few years?!
To me, it is just so disheartening.
And yes...I have expectations for all of my students. I just hope one day all of them are met...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Laura is the type of friend every person should have at least one of ~ She is that person who is overly blunt and will tell you exactly how it is. She isn't blunt to be mean. She's just blunt. She also grew up in the ghetto and isn't afraid of anything! (at least none of the things I'm scared of.) She's a great person to have along while walking down a dark alley. lol
Laura is also the person who taught me the "Rules of Dating". So when we go out, she makes sure we follow Rule #3. We do this by deciding that we will only pay for our first round of drinks. We have gotten pretty good at it over the last year and a half of me dating, (Laura is happily married...she's just my wing-man) but last night was the best!
We started out by getting dinner ...and solving all the problems of the world...till the restaurant wanted to close and did everything but kick us out.
Then we headed to a dance club. We went here the last time we went out.
They remembered us. How weird is that?
Two girls that don't frequent a place but every 6 months and they remember you? Needless to say, we were impressed!
They didn't make us pay the cover. They remembered that last time we came we wanted to check the place out before we paid the cover...so I guess they didn't even bother to ask us this time around. Also, last time, to ensure we stuck around, they bought our drinks.
The bartender remembered us as well.
As people all around us came up with cash in hand and paid for their drinks as they received them, we sat down and were served our drinks without question of needing to pay. The manager even came by to make sure we "were being taken care of".
After two rounds though, we realized that not much was going to be happening there. We asked the manager if he were not working 'where would he be tonight?' He mentioned a bar across town.
(Note to all: if you have an establishment and someone asked you a question like that...the correct answer is always your own establishment!)
So we left and headed across town. When we walked in, we said to the bartender, "We want to check our coats." This bar did not have a coat check. We stood there without question. The bartender shrugged his shoulders and took our coats placed them behind the bar.
He then asked what we were drinking. We placed our drink orders. He decided that he was going to add his own little twist to Laura's common drink. It wasn't bad, just not the norm. So when he said to Laura, "Your drink will be $5." She replied, "I'm not paying for this, it isn't what I ordered." and he said, "Okay."
Really? Does that really work?...'cause it did last night.
So I said to him, "Well, if she doesn't have to pay for her drink, than I don't want to pay for mine either." and he said, "Oh.... yours was already on the house."
What? That worked too? ...okay.
By the time it was time to close, Laura and I walked out without dropping a dime for drinks or cover.
Needless to say, we were very proud of ourselves....that and we've got skillz!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
When telemarketers call, I say "I'm just the babysitter."
I put ketchup on my macaroni and cheese
...and grape jelly on my biscuits and gravy.
I love to hear a a good dirty joke...even though I was raised to be offended by them.
I HATE everything about coconut - the taste, the texture, the smell ...and avoid it at all costs!
I love that my boys are still cuddlers (even at the ages of 4 and 6) and I hope that doesn't change any time soon!
I would rather go panty-less than to wear a thong.
If you're a good friend, it doesn't bother me to eat or drink after you...but I won't eat food that has been sitting out for more than an hour.
Taking a picture every day for my 365 has been a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I think it's funny when students are initially scared of me because I have short hair. I tell them, "I'm not scary." and then I gnash my teeth at them.
I had planned to have a BIG wonderful post for my 200th posting...and I missed it 2 posts ago.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I want to get things done when I come home...but then it is already dark...and I have NO motivation.
Today (at school) was a really good day though! We had our monthly plan day...and so (of course) we got to sit around and
We all decided that we couldn't lose those last few pounds that we have all been hanging onto due to stress. Laura and I decided that means we are FAR overdue for a girl's night out...the other two(L. & M.) agreed... but said they are going to fight their bulge with a B12 shot that boosts your metabolism. One teacher has started it and has lost 30 lbs in 6 weeks.
I seriously don't think about weight that often...I worry more about being healthy than what the scale says. So I worry for L. & M. - Is it healthy to lose weight like this? And if they don't lose the stress will they just gain the weight back as soon as they stop getting the shots? Anyone with additional insight on these shots, I would love to hear it!
Today did remind me how much I love to laugh...I can remember back in high school laughing all through lunch every day. I wonder what we found SO funny back then? I just know it was not uncommon for milk to be spewed across the table...
I almost have that under control...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I took a picture on the 3rd that I will include, but really truly my count starts on the 7th and I will try to be diligent from here on out.
Hope you enjoy!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sam acts like he will be lost if Colby is not around, but I actually think Sam relishes the time that Colby doesn't have the limelight.
To start out our evening together, Sam and I curled up on the couch and watched a movie and ate popcorn. (Okay. Okay. I admit...Sam watched a movie and ate popcorn. I got so toasty warm with Sam curled up next to me that I took a nap. :)
This morning we ate breakfast together and sat and talked about what we should do with our day. We decided that the Christmas tree really did need to come down (okay. okay. I decided that! But Sam was willing to help.) and we decided we should go check out our fellow bloggers. (okay. okay. THAT was me as well!)
But while we were downstairs, we decided that we needed to have desk chair races. Okay...I guess you really couldn't call them races because we only had one chair...but Sam and I sat together in my desk chair, we put our feet against the wall to push, and we flew across the room screaming "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and then Sam would say, "Again!" and we did it again. and again. and again.
Sam did really well for a while, helping me wrap and box every ornament, but then... he was quiet. Quiet is never a good sign to a mom.
He was SO proud!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I love that I have new followers to my blog...so is it wrong of me to NOT want ex-girlfriends of my current boyfriend to follow my blog?
To me, it's creepy....it's kinda stalker-ish.
I don't know if they follow because they want to know if and when we are on the verge of a break-up (Not that I would post that on here anyways!) so they can swoop in and take him off my hands?
Well...it ain't happenin' ladies! SO BACK OFF! He's MINE!
You might wonder how I know one of his exes is following...
I have a tracker on my blog. It tells me where in the world I have readers coming from.
I thought it interesting... Until I couldn't place one location that was popping up repeatedly saying it was coming from my facebook page. I kept thinking I must know this person! I searched high and low for someone I knew from that location. I then mentioned it to Spencer. "Oh...I know someone from there." he said. He then contacted her on fb and asked if she was following my blog. "Yeah." she said.
Again...how weird is that?
I mean it's weird enough that my ex-husband follows my blog...something about me being funny and a good writer...(compliments from him will get him no where...) but do I have to have other people's exes too??
Jan 30, 2010
Jan 25, 2010 Lovin' the love!
Jan 24, 2010 - Tickle monster!
Jan 23, 2010 (What's the chances I would get both my boys in a shot while they are moving?)
Jan22, 2010 (Colby's perfect score)
Jan 21, 2010
Jan 20, 2010 What the doctor prescribed :)
Jan 19, 2010
Jan. 18, 2010
Jan 17, 2010 Two weeks after the snow storm
Jan 16, 2010
Jan. 15, 2010
Jan 14, 2010 The flower Colby gave to me last Mother's day ~still blooming
Jan 13, 2010 My boy's poor chewed off fingernails
Jan 12, 2010 self portrait by Colby
Jan. 11, 2010
Jan. 10,2010 (frost on my window...wish I could have gotten a better shot
Jan. 9, 2010
Jan 8, 2010
Jan 7, 2010