Tuesday, December 23, 2014

25 more random things about me #2

My life sometimes just feels like randomness... so why not go with it??
Here and here are some other random things about me if you haven't read them before...

1. I will pause my TV when I get on my computer. This happens nightly. (I guess I can't focus on two things at once.)
2. I cannot talk and type at the same time (I'm convinced this uses the same part of my brain) and I'm jealous of people that can.
3. I turn down the radio when I am lost. (I'm seeing a theme here...)
4. When scraping icing off the side of a bowl, I make the same movement with my mouth as I did when I used to scrape baby food off the sides of my boys' mouth...  I find this entirely strange, but can't help myself from doing it.
5. If you want me to remember something, I have to see it written or in text... This is especially true with names.
6. People compliment me on my long hair all the time... I'm not impressed with it.
7. Last time I had longer hair, I was also heavier... I'm secretly afraid there is a connection.
8. I miss my children, even when they are asleep in the next room.
9. I hate that only flat boots are in this season and I can't replace my black heeled boots even though I need to and I love wearing them more than any others.
10. I like to have brief but deep conversations with strangers.
11. Because of #10, I'm now not fully convinced that we haven't lived previous lives.
12. If I get to laughing, just the thought of me laughing uncontrollably makes me laugh even harder.
13. My mom used to cut out hundreds of recipes a year and try them out on us... I can almost always tell if a recipe will be amazing just by reading it.
14. I am not a morning person... yet I will sing to my children in the early morning to get them out of bed.
15. I hate ladybugs - an infested house that I cleaned in college turned me against them.
16.  I have a routine that I follow in the shower, a specific spot I park at school, and cannot stand for someone to use "my" towel or mug.
17. I have become more "OCD" about things like in #16 as the years have gone by... I think it is a small way I can show I'm in control of what is happening in my life. (No, I'm not saying this is healthy. LOL)
18. One of my biggest fears is becoming mentally unstable like my father... So I purposefully break away from my own OCD tendencies just to prove it to myself that I am mentally okay.
19. I shaved my arms once as  kid because my mom refused to let me shave my legs.  My arms itched for weeks as the hair grew back.
20. My son, Sam, loves for me to "steamroll" him, so I do.  It makes me laugh every time!
21. I plan to save my first year's extra money from my pay raise from my masters and go overseas.
22. I have always loved babies... and still wish I would have one more.
23. I used to keep pet spiders as a kid and do experiments on them (like see if a small established spider would take out a larger newly introduced spider).  I wish kids these day were inclined to do things like this.
24. I know most people that just read #18 REALLY think I'm weird now, but I don't care.
25. I know several people personally that have written books (and I have signed copies from them) and I think that maybe one day I will write one too...

Monday, December 22, 2014

The damp and dreariness of the weather is a perfect example of how I'm feeling without you here

Today was one of those days that you plan for, but don't look forward to.

My girls and I do our annual ornament exchange.  This used to include four of us... now it is down to three.

The lost of Kel still stings our eyes with tears and aches our hearts with pain.  Two years in passing and it still doesn't feel real.

I couldn't speak out the words I wanted to tell Kel today because it would have came out in a cracked voice and it would have been by no means eloquent.

But what I wanted to tell her is that it sucks that a gravestone gets ordained with the ornaments meant for her.  That no one I ever knew could pull off a cute outfit quite the way she did (even though I tried today)  ...That our annual ornament exchange will forever be a place of pain in my life.
I love and miss you Kel!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Wicked Stepmoms only Exist in the Minds of Bitter Ex-wives

I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for R's girlfriend, K.
I've said before how wonderful it is that she and I are friendly with one another.
She has done a wonderful job of making my boys feel loved, but not make me feel like I needed to be edged out of the picture. (Been there.)
Plus she's willing to let me cuddle their new little bundle of joy repeatedly.

R. and I have tried to describe our relationship to people that don't understand it.
We consider each other family.
(You hope the best for your family... but sometimes they can drive you batty!!)
In the end, you want them to be happy.
K. has made R. happy and for that I am thankful.
I'm also thankful that my boys know nothing of wicked step-moms.