Friday, May 7, 2010

Are you hooked?

Have you ever been on someone's hook? Do you have anyone on yours?

Don't have any clue what I'm talking about???

Well... When you are on someone's hook, most of the time you don't know it (or you don't admit it to yourself).

While being on someone's hook, you will do just about anything for that person.

Normally, you have not dated the person who has you "hooked", BUT, if given the opportunity, you probably would.

The problem is... the person that is keeping you on the hook doesn't want to date you.
They like the attention.
They like the friendship... BUT they don't want to date you.
MOSTLY, they like that they can rely on you for ANYTHING! (and without fail, you will come through~ because You, the person being on the hook, don't want to lose that attention...NO matter what!!)

What will it cost you being on someone's hook?
A relationship?

But it is a risk you are willing to take.

Then, there is the other side of the story... having someone on your hook.
That has it's positives and negatives, as well.

*You always have a "go to guy".
*You always have someone doting over you and they make you feel great!

*You don't want to date them.
*Sometimes you feel guilty that you are taking advantage of their "kindness".

The only solution... is being HONEST!

The "hooker" has to be honest to the "hookee."

It's not easy... you go through withdrawal on either end.

If you have someone on your hook, you have to start doing things yourself. You don't get that constant attention.

I know. I've been on that end.
The guy was great! He made me feel great! BUT, I came to realize, I didn't want to date him.

Did I love the attention? Absolutely!
Did it make me feel good leading him on? Not so much.
Was it unfair to him? Absolutely!
Was he happy, at first, when I let him off my hook? Not so much.

That's another aspect to it... When you are let off someone's hook, eventually (hopefully) you feel relieved, but in the beginning you feel disheartened. You are no longer needed/wanted.

I went on a couple of dates with a guy.
He ended things between us this week.
It's fine... but I think the reason is... is because he is on a friend's hook.
She got jealous of me. (He told me that much.)
I'm sure, he didn't want to lose her friendship...understandable of someone on the hook.
So, when it came down to choosing me(a new person in his life) or her (a constant), it's not a surprise who he chose.

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