Do you know what disgusts me?
My ex did it to me.
Beforehand, I was so naive.
Now... I see it going on all around me.
I see the signs.
I hear the talk.
...and I want to shout, "Hello?? Don't you see what is happening?? Save your marriage!! Or, at the very least, save yourself!!"
But you see... No one can make you step out of that situation.
No one can heal that pain for you.
You turn a blind eye... hoping... praying... that things will be okay.
I have a friend who found out that her husband was cheating on her.
She used to be so bubbly and full of life... ready for anything!
I used to know when I called her (no matter what we were doing) she would be in.
Now... she won't leave home unless her husband wants to join in also.
I know she is doing this to prevent him from having time alone... time to cheat.
It is killing her.
She is completely losing herself.
She looks exhausted all the time.
Yet, she won't leave him... not yet anyways.
I get that.
I have been there.
You have to hit rock bottom and then decide you deserve better for yourself.
But until then... no one will be able to get you there.
The lockdown. (This is NOT a drill)
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