I hate that my ex, R. and W. broke up.
I don't hate it for him ...or for her ...or for me.
I hate it for my kids.
In the past 4 years, they have seen R. & my relationship end, Spencer and my relationship end, and now R. & W's.
I fear that my sons will grow up not knowing what a "normal" adult relationship looks like.
I don't want them to think that when the going gets tough, someone in the relationship leaves.
I know I haven't played my cards that way...I have stayed in realtionships that should have ended way earlier, but still, my relationships haven't exactly panned out either.
I want them to know that true loving relationships consider the other person's feelings to a point that they would never without question want to hurt them in any way.
But it is hard.
It is hard because, as of right now, I can only talk the talk.... walking the walk isn't in the cards for me right now.
...and the end of this relationship actually has me more fearful to seek out a new one (not because I don't want one, because I truly do) but because I don't want my boys to see another one end.
“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.”
Surfing Sunday 07.15
4 days ago