Some things I would change

I have always been that low maintenance girl... but really I want to be the high maintenance girl that a guy dotes over.

The Fireman would probably be that guy... IF I let him.

But I won't... because deep down that scares me... scares me that a guy might like me enough to treat me well.

B.P. continues to dangle that carrot... and I continue to pursue it.

I don't know why though.  Deep down, I know he and I won't be good for each other...even though at Christmas time I felt fully prepared to "catch" the carrot and be done pursuing.