As my eyes adjusted to the dim lights of the movie theater, I noticed that besides us there was only one elderly couple.
We quietly sit down in the row in front of them. We had 20 minutes until the movie started.
Before sitting, I could hear the woman's voice, but had not been paying attention to what she said. I couldn't imagine that she would be saying anything of importance considering her voice had no inflection to it whatsoever. But now, that we were sitting, my ears tuned into her monotone voice. She was holding a Kindle and reading. "Her. hand. slid. down. his. chest. Oh. my. she. said. swooning."
I clinched my teeth resisted the urge to belt out in laughter.
Her husband elbowed her. "Maybe you should stop reading."
"Why?" She snapped,"...you wanted me to read this to you!"
Sheepishly he responded, "Yeah... but they may not want you to."
My date piped up, "Eh. We don't care. Maybe something interesting will happen."
So she continued... for the next 15 minutes ...in complete monotone.
I continued to do my best to hold my laughter in.
As others slowly filed in, her husband elbowed her again, this time saying, "Your movie is starting. I'm headed over to True Grit. I can't stand to watch this lovie dovie crap."
(Maybe he should have thought of how "masculine" that sounded before he requested to hear a Harlequin romance novel read aloud to him in the movie theater.)
This Is Not Okay
19 hours ago