Monday, February 14, 2011

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step

After another unsuccessful date on Friday, my bestie came over. I shared my realization with her...

I date guys that are unavailable (physically - i.e. location or emotionally) or I date guys that I am not really interested in.

Why??? you might ask.

Well... because I don't want to get hurt. (no new news there)

So, in turn, I date guys that:
1) don't live near by (because how could we have a successful relationship long distance... TRUST me! I speak from experience on this one.)
2) aren't emotionally ready to have a committed relationship (because then I get flirted with but don't have to worry about anything more)
3) I'm not really interested in (because when I want to move on, I have "valid" reasons to do so)

Problem is... I really do want a healthy relationship.
I really do want a best friend and a lover in a husband.
I just have lost the path to get there.

A year ago... Valentine's Day weekend, I broke up with the guy I thought I was going to grow old with.
A year ago... I gained enough strength and self-worth to see that our relationship was not healthy and I shouldn't be begging the man I loved to come spend the weekend with me.
A year ago... I started to become the person I am today.

But Today...I've decided... I am no longer going to seek out love...I'm going to allow love to seek out me.
"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be." ~Charles Jones

1 comment:

  1. Great realization.

    I think you just need to come out my way. One weekend out with me and you;ll fine the perfect guy. at the very least you will have the time of your life.

    My problem is I always seek out the "too sexy" guys that are so into themselves that they have very little left for me.


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