Saturday, January 8, 2011

The heart is forever inexperienced. ~Henry David Thoreau

The Professor and I had a hard conversation last night.
He voiced his fears/concerns with me not professing my love for him yet... he told me that we have been talking for 5 weeks and if I'm not ready by now, he's not sure I will ever be ready.

He said that we are "at sort of an impasse"...a situation that is so difficult that no progress can be made; a deadlock ...but he said he wasn't ready to give up on us yet. He's hoping that he is just a fast mover and I am just a slow mover... and eventually I will catch up to him.

I told him that I have a wall... a wall that no one can knock down but me ... and right now the sledgehammer to knock down that wall is too heavy for me to lift by myself. I'm getting stronger everyday, but I'm not there.

He said he understood, but that it still didn't calm his worry.

I don't know what else to do...


Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.
~ Bob Phillips

4 comments:

  1. You're being honest, Dawn. That's the hardest thing to do, and most important. I don't think there is anything else you CAN do and still be happy with yourself. Is there?

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  2. I only told one person that I loved him, and that was Tom. I didn't throw it around willy-nilly, and obviously you don't either. Would he want someone that did? As you said today, if you had told him you loved him right then, would he have accepted it or known you were just doing it to please him.

    I think you are doing the ABSOLUTE right thing and just taking it one step at a time. Each step is a direction TOWARD him, so maybe it's time he recognized that.

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  3. It's only been five weeks. What's the rush?

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  4. You write like you are not saying "I Love you", because there is something wrong with you. This has nothing to do with your past relationships or your walls. There is nothing wrong with you! You have just met him. Of course you dont love him yet. There should not be some impass at this point. You are just getting to know each other. You should be able to enjoy that and each other not be put under this kind of pressure. When will men learn that the more they push the more women want to run. He is shooting himself in the foot.

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