Thursday, March 25, 2010

Where's the spark when you need it?

So this guy I went out with the other day is totally into me.

He is a good dad.
He has a good paying job.
He is a Christian.

So, I'm sure you're thinking, "GREAT!"
...Not so great.

Cause, see... I can't seem to muster up even just a tiny spark for him.

...and I feel bad because my head keeps saying, "This is the type of guy you need. He wants to take care of you!"

and my heart says, "Ppppllllllttttt"

Damn inner conflict.


  1. No no no. See, that's because he's being too nice. You implied that your intuition told you that he wants to take care of you. Obviously he has given you enough signals to make you feel that way. Which also tells me that he is being too nice and letting you know he really likes you. I would bet that if he was a slight bit standoffesh, if you weren't quite sure what he wanted, if he just didn't seem desperate, you would be all over him. Hmmmm?

  2. It's still really close to the break-up, too, Dawn. Hang in there.

  3. I am a firm believer in the "spark", if you have no spark that causes you to get goose bumps or your heart race with the thought of seeing him then hes not the one for you. Perfect on paper doesnt mean perfect in love/romance.

    Whats the rush? Dont just accept anyone. Never settle. Keep looking.

  4. What if this particular guy just knew what he wanted and was not the type to "play the game?" He is an adult... Correct? Maybe he just believes in being honest and upfront. Desperate is when someone is buying you roses before LOVE is even in the air, or when they are constantly calling or texting; wanting to suck up every single free minute you have and not giving you time to have your own life, or when you know they've never REALLY been single a significant amount of time in their life and don't know who/what they are/want. The "Spark", in my opinion is when physical attraction intermingles with mental attraction, I think you DO need to have both for the "Spark" to take place, it's how we are wired... though neither one of them can always be immediately recognized. Perhaps both are there but can't intermingle causing the "Spark" simply because they are wet from the tears of a broken relationship that you haven't healed from yet. I would imagine a smart man would understand this. Lastly, inner conflicts are best settled by time, seeking advice from people you trust and praying/talking to God, asking Him to give you clarity and healing if it's needed. I agree with socmom .. never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

  5. Take a deep breathe, Dawn. It's okay if you don't like him. Even if you didn't just get through a break-up, sometimes people just don't click. And besides, people are always at their best when you first meet.

  6. Sometimes the spark doesn't hit you right away - sometimes it sneaks up on you - you'll never know unless you give it a little time. My 2nd husband is like that. I kept thinking...why is he doing all of these nice things??? It's so weird!, it ROCKS!!! :)


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