Thursday, March 4, 2010

everything's not okay

I know I shouldn't miss him as much as I do...I didn't expect things to end badly between us ever.

He was a man I considered marrying and growing old with.

We had future plans made...or at least, in the works.

We had talked about riding up to Maine this summer and seeing the lighthouses...something I have on my bucket list.

I know it is something I will still do...someday.

It makes me sad.

Sad that that door has closed completely.

I had hoped it would remain ajar for at least a little while longer.

But I guess that was selfish of me...wanting the security of a friendship without the intimacy of a relationship.

I guess I need to realize that other people don't function like I do.

When I make my mind up, no matter how hard the decision, I can make everything be okay.

I thought everything would be okay.

Everything is not okay.


  1. Oh, I;m so sorry :(
    I came over here from SITS to say "hi", but just wanted to say that the one thing I have learned is that at those moments you feel are the darkest, you are never alone and when you least expect... things will turn around.

  2. thinking of you and hoping your heart mends soon.

  3. Over from SITS...sorry you're going through a tough time. Hang in there!

  4. *HUGS* I came over from SITS.

    Hang in there girlfriend. It's gotta get better!

  5. I'm praying for you my friend. I know this journey is tough but you will make it through. Love you!


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