I know I shouldn't miss him as much as I do...I didn't expect things to end badly between us ever.
He was a man I considered marrying and growing old with.
We had future plans made...or at least, in the works.
We had talked about riding up to Maine this summer and seeing the lighthouses...something I have on my bucket list.
I know it is something I will still do...someday.
It makes me sad.
Sad that that door has closed completely.
I had hoped it would remain ajar for at least a little while longer.
But I guess that was selfish of me...wanting the security of a friendship without the intimacy of a relationship.
I guess I need to realize that other people don't function like I do.
When I make my mind up, no matter how hard the decision, I can make everything be okay.
I thought everything would be okay.
Everything is not okay.
Surfing Sunday 02.18
4 days ago