Thursday, March 4, 2010

everything's not okay

I know I shouldn't miss him as much as I do...I didn't expect things to end badly between us ever.

He was a man I considered marrying and growing old with.

We had future plans made...or at least, in the works.

We had talked about riding up to Maine this summer and seeing the lighthouses...something I have on my bucket list.

I know it is something I will still do...someday.


It makes me sad.

Sad that that door has closed completely.

I had hoped it would remain ajar for at least a little while longer.

But I guess that was selfish of me...wanting the security of a friendship without the intimacy of a relationship.

I guess I need to realize that other people don't function like I do.

When I make my mind up, no matter how hard the decision, I can make everything be okay.

I thought everything would be okay.

Everything is not okay.



5 comments:

  1. Oh, I;m so sorry :(
    I came over here from SITS to say "hi", but just wanted to say that the one thing I have learned is that at those moments you feel are the darkest, you are never alone and when you least expect... things will turn around.
    (((HUGS)))

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  2. thinking of you and hoping your heart mends soon.

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  3. Over from SITS...sorry you're going through a tough time. Hang in there!

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  4. *HUGS* I came over from SITS.

    Hang in there girlfriend. It's gotta get better!

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  5. I'm praying for you my friend. I know this journey is tough but you will make it through. Love you!

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