Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Life is the first gift, Love is the second, and Understanding is the third" ~Marge Piercy

I understand now why my mother never remarried.

Dating is hard. Dating with children is even harder!

Not only do you have to be compatible with each other(which is hard enough), but then you have to be compatible with his kids and he has to be compatible with your kids. That's a BIG combination for potential disaster.

Even after you get through the "I like your kids, you like my kids" bit, then there are parenting styles. Ahhh... that will get you almost every time!

See, I'm around other people's children on a daily basis. I get that not every kid is going to react to every situation in the same way. I get that two kids from the same family can be night and day. I get it. I also get that I don't seek out the negative in kids....or in the parents that parent them. If I see where a suggestion needs to be given, I might offer it. But not very often.

This is where dating has become hard for me. I feel like I am an upstanding parent. That is one area my ex always praised me. So it is a hard pill to swallow when my parenting is the area that is currently being criticized~ a LOT!

I have currently started firing back. Noticing when his kids aren't being perfect (which kids never are) and calling them out. This is not who I normally am. It feels like tattling....and I hate tattletales!

But I also don't feel like I need to defend myself, my parenting style, or my children's actions on a daily basis.

...I understand why my mother never got remarried.

1 comment:

  1. That is frustrating. Especially when you are educated in that area. And, yes, it is hard enough for two birth parents to agree on parenting skills, much less trying to match that with someone else! Praying for you! (And, I would totally be one pointing out the faults of the other kids!)

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