Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Love is friendship set on fire

Many of you have asked what is going on with my love life. I guess I haven't posted about it in a while because I am officially in a relationship with someone....and I know how the personal seems ultra-personal when you post it for the whole world to see.


If you have been following my blog for a while, the guy I am dating is who I decided I would make a great friend to back in the spring of last year. And I did. We went our separate ways, but stayed in touch. We talked almost daily...sometimes every few days (depending on the girl he was dating and how jealous she was - LOL) But nevertheless, we told each other everything that was happening in our lives...the good, the bad, and the ugly. And do you know what? Because we were friends, it didn't matter. We would give advice before the next date...and help each other analyze how it went after the date was over. We became best friends.


I went and saw him off before he left for his new job in Texas last July. We had fun, like we always have. Between July and December (when I saw him next), I dated a lot. He dated a lot. I had written him off as dating material. Remember...we were friends.


In December, he asked what my Christmas break looked like. I told him to come up any time. He and his kids came up on December 26th. (The same day my brothers had decided to come.) I was fine with it...I'm a really good juggler (as long as it isn't with balls or knives). They spent the whole day with us. (I later found out this made him extremely nervous, but I was happy to have everyone here.) As night rolled around, he said it was time to go. I walked him out to his truck to say goodbye. We hugged...and then he kissed me. It was like someone had electrocuted me. Emotions shot through me. But what was I to say...we were friends.


When I got back inside, my sister-in-law, LeaAnn, said, "Sorry we didn't give you guys some more alone time." I sputtered out, "What? No. No. We're just friends...it's fine." How was she seeing what I was so blind to?


In the commotion of my house, I missed a text from him that said he wished things could have worked out differently for us. I didn't know how to react.


When New Year's rolled around, we both talked about how we didn't have any plans. He then told me that if he wasn't on-call, that he would have been in Branson with me. Really??!! (Again, missing what is right in front of me.) So, I said, "Well, what if I came to you?" "Would you?" he asked. I then started to backtrack. My mind was reeling. He is 7 hours away. Distance is not your friend! But did I want to see him? yes. Did I want some questions answered? yes. Did I want to know if he felt the same way about that kiss as I did? Yes! So I went.

We had a wonderful time. We decided that it would not be smart to have a long-distance relationship.


Okay...Okay...Your probably asking yourself "What? but they are in a relationship, right?"
...and, yes, we are.


The following week, he surprised me by coming up. We talked again about how hard it would be...but that maybe we should give it a go.


A year ago, when we dated, we were both freshly divorced. We both needed healing time. We both needed a friend (especially other than who we were dating). Now, we both are well aware of our independence. But we are also well aware of how having your best friend there is the best thing of all. Now we just have to figure out this distance thing...cause seeing the one you want to be with every other week is doable...it's just not ideal.

1 comment:

  1. I know a couple that has been together for 20+ years, and they didn't live in the same town until they got married four and a half years after they started dating. It makes for a great story when people ask how they met, etc. Long distance relationships are hard, but they are soooo worth it. ;)

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