Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dreams vs. reality

Last night Spencer went to a female friend's house to hang out. He runs with her. This shouldn't bother me, but it did. It bothered me because we talked at around 3 pm and then I didn't hear from him again... It was Valentine's day. I was thinking of him...shouldn't he be thinking of me as well??? So finally at around 8:30, I had a financial question so I called him. (yes...it was an excuse to call, but a good one) I could tell he was with a lot of people. I asked my question and then told him I would let him go. (I was hurt.) He told me he would call me later after he left her house.


He called at around 10:30. He explained that there were lots of people there and there was nothing for me to worry about.


Then this morning I had a dream... a dream where Spencer and I were discussing last night. We began to argue. He was telling me that if I couldn't trust him, then maybe we shouldn't be together. (an argument that Robbie and I had many times) I began crying. I woke up crying.




So today I have been in a funk...one that I can't seem to shake. My logical brain is telling me to run now...to save myself from any future heartache and pain...because if I end it now, it will be less painful than if I wait for him to end it in the future...Is this logical thinking??

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