Saturday, October 8, 2011

When you just wish the world knew you were thinking without saying it

My friend, Angela, called me the other night.
She was worried about me since I haven't been blogging.
(I know... sad that this is how my friends know that I'm still kickin'... but it works :)

I haven't been blogging because I have had a week-long headache... that and I'm mentally discombobulated. My brain isn't producing complete thoughts... and when it does, I'm not sure they make sense.

I know part of this has to do with D.P. - not knowing where I stand with being with him.

He's not a stupid guy...
We had a date last night.
He brought up the topic of being distance... from his perspective..."I'm sorry if I have been distance lately.  Everything with work..."

But see... I'm not stupid either.
I knew he was opening a door for me.
So I took it.

I told him that him "being distant" lately has been a good thing for me... that all of this "together" time is overwhelming for me.  That I need my me time... that I have never been in a relationship where the guy was there all the time.

He told me he was glad that I told him... that he couldn't seem to get a read on me.... but that it made sense to him now.

I thought that conversation would make me miraculously wake up this morning and my headache would be gone... but it's not.

I know it's not because I should have said all that I am feeling to D.P. and I didn't.
I'm not good at starting hard conversations.
I don't like to hurt other people's feelings.
Unfortunately... that's what's gonna happen.

1 comment:

  1. It's sad but sometimes you have to hurt feelings
    in order to free yourself
    I'm sorry about your headache
    hope your feeling better.
    Ps I had to go private
    if your interested in reading me
    please send me your email addy


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