Thursday, September 24, 2009

The high road not taken

Tonight I honestly dreaded... I wanted to be there for my boys, but knowing that my ex had talked to his girlfriend about letting me have my place made me feel sick.
I don't like confrontation, but as I get older, I have found that if someone confronts me with something I feel strongly about I turn into a bulldog... and I don't back down.

I arrived at the football field. My ex was already there with my boys. She was also already there. She was already in there helping out. She was wearing a t-shirt with the team's name on it and my boys' names on back.
The game hadn't started, (and I obviously wasn't needed) so I stayed back and talked to one of my friends(C.) whose son is also on the boys' team. She expressed how she didn't know how I felt, but if it were her in my shoes, she wouldn't be handling it very well.

When it was finally gametime, I headed to the edge of the field - right where I would be in the center of all the action, so there was NO way I could be replaced. She came up to me and said she would like to talk to me when I had the time and handed me a shirt. Sure, it was a nice gesture...and we might be rooting for the same players, but I am not going to show any kind of "team" unity here....just not going to do it! Her and I are NOT ever going to be unified!

Thankfully, C. chose to come sit by me and keep me company so She didn't feel the need to talk to me throughout the whole game.

After gametime, my ex asked me to come to his vehicle to get the boys' bookbags. When I arrived there, She came up and handed them to me. She told me that she was not trying to replace me and the we needed to have the two boys best interest at heart. I said that it sure did feel like she was trying to replace me. She kept going, repeating herself over and over (I think trying to convince us both). Then She said that I needed to accept the fact that she was there, that that wasn't going to change, that she wants to be here and be involved more than anything.

That was my breaking point...that is when the bulldog decided to join the fight...I told her, "Well, for as much as you want to be here...that's as much as I don't want you to be here."

I got in my car and closed the door. I felt like I was going to throw up.
I didn't ask for this interaction... all I wanted was to not be replaced.


  1. I think you did the right thing. Good for you! She needs to take a step back. Let her know who is the mother of those precious boys. Part of me just wants to punch her in the face...I know childish, huh?

  2. Aw, bless your sweet heart. My parents divorced when I was only 1 year old (my ass hat dad had an affair). Now that I am a Mom, I look back and think how hard things were for my Mom with similar situations. I am sorry for your hurting, but I want you to know - your boys feel very secure in their relationship with you or they would not be adjusting to her being there. Hang in there! Oh, and I agree with Angela - she totally needs to back the eff off! Sheesh.

    Thanks for your comment! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your Zumba (btw - what is that?) class. Or, some other insect with no sense of smell.



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