Thursday, January 26, 2012

she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story

I thought I was past it.
I thought that even though I had some strife with the mean girl at the beginning of the year, I had managed to get past it.
Even though I didn't have my bestie to stand strong with me against her, I just closed my door and carried on in my own little world.
I thought I was past it.
Then I got my student teacher.... My wonderful student teacher.
I felt horrible that I was keeping him closed off.
It's not how I really am...
I want him to experience everything that should be happening in a school building.
So... I opened my door...
In turn, I opened myself up to hurt.

You see... our grade level had a meeting this morning.
All six of us.
After the meeting was over, we all got up to leave.
Isaac and I were the first to head out.

Less than 5 min later, I remember I had forgot something in the room we had met in.
I walk in.
All five of the other teachers are sitting at the table.
Their conversation stops.
I ask, "What's going on?"
"Oh... we're just planning Science."


Do I care that they are planning it without me?
No. not really.
Am I hurt that they didn't even bother to ask?
yep.
Took all of me to keep it inside and not cry... or scream... or yell.

It put me in a fog that I couldn't shake all day.
I really am trying to be a good mentor here...
Just would be nice to have others around aiding in that process.

2 comments:

  1. That feeling really stinks. I wish I could do something for you well you could always come to my classroom and help me plan =)

    p.s. it's needsatimeout but had lots of trouble with my word verification =(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dawn it saddens me to hear that you feel so upset...I know hearing this will do little to make you feel better but you do know the reason the mean girl is mean and does things like this to you is because she is insecure, feels threatened by your brilliance AND knows she is never going to be as well liked or appreciated for just being her the way that you are.

    Chin up lovely! Xx

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