Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Alone doesn't equal lonely

I have very much realized that I'm okay with being alone.

Don't get me wrong, I truly desire someone special to check up on me, be there for me, and do nice things for me.
But in all essence,  I have never had a guy who was "there" for me.

My ex, R, was a coach.
He was gone every evening for either games or practice.
He coached fall, spring, and summer ball.
It is NO surprise that our boys birthdays are only 4 days apart... July was truly the only month he was home... Nine months fall nicely to the next spring.

Spencer lived 2 and a half ...and then 7 hours away.
I didn't realize it at the time, but he fell right into the pattern I was used to...not seeing the guy I was with very often. Seeing him every other weekend worked out nicely for that.

I felt needed... but ultimately I wasn't "needed" on a daily basis.
Independent... I guess is what you could call it.

That independence has caused me to shy away from normal new relationships... cause how do I tell a guy I want him around... just not around a lot?


  1. I can relate. When I saw the title of the post (which I really appreciate) I had to read it.
    Independence is a good thing!

  2. This sounds so familiar! For years - about 7 or 8 - before we were married my husband and I only saw each other at weekends and despite the odd bad day when all I would want would be a hug to make me feel better it was great! I had the right balance of being independent but also the security of being in a loving relationship. The end result?...I can be so independent that I don't ask for help when I need it and a bit of loner.

  3. That is one thing I love about you is your independence. I wish that when I was in the dating world I could have been more like you. When God sends the right one along I pray it will be with a good balance of need and independence so you can still be your wonderful self. Love you!

  4. I feel like Im that way a little. Mostly I like to have "my time" and not be required to do something on a scheudled routine. I like variety.
    So you seem normal to me.

  5. I am so glad that you know the difference between alone and lonely. Lots of people don't realize the difference. I am not sure I even realize the difference all the time. I bet there are tons of couples out there that are lonely.
    Hoping your summer is going well!


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