So I let my ex (R) have it this morning.
Sometimes the emotions that he can cause to surface makes me feel like a crazy woman.
Thankfully (I guess) he laughs it off and takes it all in stride.
It started because he told me he couldn't keep our boys tonight because Wednesday nights are "date nights" for him and his new gf.
I don't mind keeping my boys ever.... that wasn't the problem.
The problem was... that when R and I were married, he didn't bother taking time out for my birthday, much less, a weekly date night.
I told him that besides our boys, he gave me the worst of him.
He tried to say that his "date night" is nothing fancy.
I told him that, when I was with him, I never asked for fancy, I just wanted him to want to be with me.
Don't get me wrong... I have NO desire to be back with this man.
But it does make me question how he couldn't even bother for me.
So I told him he sucked.
That I wanted him to start his day knowing that he sucked.
He sucked for causing me to now not trust any male.
He sucked for not trying in our marriage.
He sucked at making me pissed off at something positive.
He just needed to know he sucked.
He responded that I am a much stronger person because of all of this.
True. I am.
(I am also more fearful of commitment and less trusting.)
Back when I was "less strong", I kept my opinions/feelings to myself... I internalized all guilt and took it upon myself because obviously I must have done something wrong...
But not now!!
Nope. This "stronger" gal is giving it to the man.
I'm saying my piece.
Surfing Sunday 07.15
3 days ago