Glutton for Punishment

I think I must be a glutton for punishment...

I have never enjoyed the dating scene.

I only dated one guy in HS.... I only went on a few dates in college before meeting, dating, and marrying R.

After my marriage ended, my friends all supported my 'getting back out there'.

I went on a LOT of horrible dates!

I wished for the perfect relationship.

For the majority of the past year, I thought I had that.

I have decided put myself back out there.

It hurts though.

I don't have the zest for it.

I don't have the desire to go seek someone new out with the possibility of it ending in heartbreak again.

I know this is a sign that I'm most likely not ready to be out there dating again.

But how do I move past this feeling of emptiness without going back out there?