Sunday, October 4, 2009

Wandering in Strange lands

I realized today is that I not only lost a husband in my divorce...but I lost his my family. Not having parents of my own to be there for me, my ex's family really picked up that slack and made me always feel welcomed and loved.

Now don't get me wrong, they haven't disowned me. They haven't given me the cold shoulder or turned their backs on me.

The problem is... I don't know my place anymore.

They are still very much involved with my children (as grandparents should be). I still see them at all sporting events. I'm just not part of their family anymore...but they were my family for almost 15 years.

Today really hit home when I stopped by my ex-in-laws to drop my boys off. They were all talking about my ex's brother (who I was close to) and his son coming to visit this next weekend. It shouldn't have mattered... but I felt like I was being left out of a family reunion.

It shouldn't have mattered...but it did...because I don't know my place anymore.


  1. I completely identify with that sense of loss. I was really close with the family of an ex-boyfriend and stayed close with them for about a year after the relationship died. But then it got weird and that made me really sad. I can only imagine, after a marriage, two kids and 15 years what that loss must feel like.

  2. if you read my other comment already I wrote that my boss has almost the same exact situation as you. husband cheated. two kids.

    she is still a part of that family. she sees his sister almost every week. when his parents come down to visit they stay at her house. they do holidays at her house. talk to them about it. maybe they are distant because they aren't sure what place you WANT to have in their family...


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