Saturday, May 31, 2008

My Revolving Door - OR- My Spinning Head (whichever you prefer :)

Lately, my life feels like a revolving door - making my head spin.

I am coming across people I have not been in contact with for a long time...or don't really even know. I know this seems as if I am rambling... it is because these relationships are not clear in my head yet.

Maybe I should back up and give some background to this post...

Since my divorce, I have become a member of Myspace and Facebook (both online social networking utilities). I don't know why I felt like I should become a member of was just something that I thought I would like to try...kinda like blogging. :)

So, being on these sites have put me into contact with people from my past...and I guess people that might be part of my future. They have put me in contact with people who were really great friends of mine that I have lost contact with and it's great that I can now converse with them again. But that is not where my mind swims...

My mind swims when it comes to the people that might be part of my future:

I got an email from a guy that I went to high school with. ( Nothing unusual yet...I know.) This was I guy who did NOT remember me. He was one year ahead of me and I vaguely remember him. But because of our connection through this online utility, we have started to get to know each other. Crazy that we attended 3 years in the same high school and never spoke 2 words to each other and now I could tell you ALL about what is going on in his life right now!

The second instance is... I have been someone who has always enjoyed listening to music...but couldn't tell you artists or song titles. (I'm a visual just listening just doesn't cut it for me) But due to having access now through Myspace music, I am able to have the lyrics come up while I listen... so I get SOOO much more out of the music I am listening to! So, last week, I went to listen to a song and the artist did not have the lyrics attached. So I just left a comment asking for them to be added. Then, this week, the artist emailed me and thanked me for having 2 of his songs on my Myspace site. They were performed by 2 different bands, but he had written both (unbeknownst to me). We started emailing why certain songs speak so much to a certain person and he shared with me some new song lyrics he was working on. He asked for my input as to which ones spoke to me.

The third is a columnist that interviews celebrities about their favorite foods and recipes. Since my mom entered my brothers and I into the Mt. Vernon Recipe Contest every year, I was intrigued. So, we have started emailing.

Finally, the guy I dated there for a while seems to be coming in and out of my life which is making it really hard to move on. We have stayed good friends and when I don't see him I guess I suppress the feelings I have for him...but I have been seeing TOO much of him lately and so it's making it hard to keep the feelings in check. He is now dating someone else, so I am TRYING to stay at enough of a distance that I won't ruin that for him. The hard part is that I feel like if we lived closer to one another we would be together, but distance has played a factor.

I guess I am just wondering what purpose do these people have in my life??? And why is it that my life has never had these strange social interactions before?? Was it because I was so involved with my close knit circle that I didn't see beyond it?

So back to my simile from are these folks just slowly coming through my life for a short period of time (like in a revolving door) or will they be someone that I will continue to have contact with and relationships with???

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