What to expect when you're... the first woman he's dated since his divorce

Yeah...
I have been here before.

I somehow attract men that are freshly out in the dating world.

Don't get me wrong... Being in the dating world too long can make you cynical. It can make you believe that there really isn't anyone out there and you are just going to float through life alone.

So, new and optimistic that a love can happen again is great!

But with that positive outlook also comes with exes.

Exes who have never had to experience and adjusting to their ex being with someone new.
Exes who have never thought about their child being around someone new.
Exes who want to hurt the man that you now care deeply for.

Yeah.
So... here's my two cents worth... for what it's worth.

It is an adjustment, so let them adjust.  Also, let the kids adjust. Sure, they maybe loving all the fun we are having, but they also have to share daddy... and sometimes sharing makes jealousy rears its ugly head.  So give them time... and let them all adjust.

I get it.  I want to know who my children are around, so let me meet your ex.  Let me talk to her so she can see that I mean no harm to her child and that I will love that little one, but that won't replace her as the mom. I'm a good person and I want your ex to see that too.

Of course you two are not always on the best of terms, but how you react about her tells me a LOT about you... and vice versa.  So, remember to be cordial (when really what you want to do is rip their head off.) and know that sometimes the other party just needs to blow off a little steam.

So... Yes, I have advice to give about what to do or not do (because this isn't my first rodeo), but really it's advice I would rather not give.

Eyes are the window to your soul - RIP Robin Williams

I don't normally get caught up in the world of celebrities...  I feel bad for their families, but I don't have a heartfelt connection to them.

Robin Williams was different for me.
Mork and Mindy was one of the first tv shows I remember watching.
I watched it religiously.
I'm not sure I really understood the plot line at the time (I was 7 when the show ended), but I do remember his eyes...
They were like wells that ran deep.
I would sit mesmerized by them.
I honestly didn't know there were eyes that blue in the world.

As years past, I remember a movie coming out with him in it and I told one of my friends "I want to see that movie because Robin Williams plays in it!!
Their response was "Who?"
I shook my head because I knew I couldn't explain the entity of him if they didn't already know.

I know it sounds strange, but I feel like he was looking off the screen straight at me and, in turn,  I could see into his deep being through those eyes of his.

I loved how they sparkled even when he was playing a scene that was sad.
I guess that's what saddens me the most... that in those sparkling eyes that connected to me like no other actor ever has... he, himself, was so very lonely.

He will be sorely missed...

What I can teach you

I'm supposed to be teaching you.
You watch me and mimic.
And it's good.
So very good!

But you see... I might be teaching you about how to become a teacher... but I don't think those things are what you are learning the most about.

No... the times that we just get to sit and talk, I think are opening your eyes more than the teaching.

You are learning about life.
I am getting to share my hard earned knowledge of this world.

You look at me in awe and ask, "How do you come with a smile on your face every day?"

Without even thinking, I reply, "Because you have to let go of the things you can not change.  I can't change that my mom is dead.  I can't change that my husband cheated... and so I have to let them go."

You have to know though... seeing you digest what I just said taught me how far I have come... and I needed that realization.

So... even though I am supposed to be teaching you - Thank you for teaching me.

At a time of year when families should be celebrating and holding their loved ones close, the opposite happens.

As a teacher, I'm horrified by the happenings in Connecticut today.
As a mom, I'm horrified by the happenings in Connecticut today.

Words don't express the overall fear that runs through my brain.


As a teacher, I think, "What would I do if that was occurring at my school?"
Sure,  we have drills and procedures in place, but I don't think that prepares you completely for the real thing.  I'm sure those teachers of Sandy Hook never thought they would have to use those drills for real.

I think of how the teachers did what teachers do... they got their students as safe as they could and then read to them, told them to be quiet, told them that they loved them... I'm sure telling them all along that things would be fine. I know... because that is what I would have done.

I think of my students this year and how I have a lot of "What if'ers"  "What if... a big hole opened up and sucked us all into it?" "What if ...our lights all started flashing like in a disco?" "What if...?" "What if...?"  "What if...?"
But I can't imagine having to be in that position and having to answer the what ifs..."What if the shooter comes into our classroom?" "What if he is outside our door and we just don't know it?""What if one of our friends has died?"
It makes me fearful and sad all in one... to know that the little innocence that is left in my students would be completely gone.

Then I think of my boys... this is a thought no parents ever wants to have to worry about...

I think of the design of my boys' school.  Each hallway leads down to a pod of classrooms. Each pod is circular in fashion with glass walls to see into each class. The only exit door to the outside is to come out into that center pod area. A shooter could easily come into the center of the pod and spin in a circle and hit every classroom... and my babies (and all of their friends) would be trapped.
We have always said, "Our kids go to school in a small town, this would never happen to us" and I know that is exactly what the families of Newton believed as well.

It makes me want to keep them at home and shelter them from all of the evilness... but I know that is not reality.  I know that I can't live in fear for what might happen. I have already lived part of my life in that fashion... and it was stifling ...and guess what? Bad things still happened.
So, instead, I will hug them a little tighter.  I will focus on the good and pray for all of those that unfortunately experienced the bad today.