Monday, November 3, 2014

What to expect when you're... the first woman he's dated since his divorce

I have been here before.

I somehow attract men that are freshly out in the dating world.

Don't get me wrong... Being in the dating world too long can make you cynical. It can make you believe that there really isn't anyone out there and you are just going to float through life alone.

So, new and optimistic that a love can happen again is great!

But with that positive outlook also comes with exes.

Exes who have never had to experience and adjusting to their ex being with someone new.
Exes who have never thought about their child being around someone new.
Exes who want to hurt the man that you now care deeply for.

So... here's my two cents worth... for what it's worth.

It is an adjustment, so let them adjust.  Also, let the kids adjust. Sure, they maybe loving all the fun we are having, but they also have to share daddy... and sometimes sharing makes jealousy rears its ugly head.  So give them time... and let them all adjust.

I get it.  I want to know who my children are around, so let me meet your ex.  Let me talk to her so she can see that I mean no harm to her child and that I will love that little one, but that won't replace her as the mom. I'm a good person and I want your ex to see that too.

Of course you two are not always on the best of terms, but how you react about her tells me a LOT about you... and vice versa.  So, remember to be cordial (when really what you want to do is rip their head off.) and know that sometimes the other party just needs to blow off a little steam.

So... Yes, I have advice to give about what to do or not do (because this isn't my first rodeo), but really it's advice I would rather not give.

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