Monday, March 5, 2012

Not exactly on my bucket list

I don't know how you two do it...
You know the exact moment I am not fully available... whether it be in the bathroom, or on the phone, or (this time) in the middle of mixing cake batter.

Bloodcurdling screams come from you.

I, being your mom, know it's not really serious... so after the scream, I hear the oh-so familiar, "Moooooooooom!"

The "In a minute." response from me is normal...  I am giving you two the time to resolve whatever "pressing" issue you think you can't solve on your own.  I want you to be problem solvers (like me).

But resolve doesn't come, nor did your calls for me cease.
So, I called you to the kitchen to settle what all the screaming was about.
You round the corner with one eye sealed closed...What is on it?

Gum on your eyelashes!!!??

"How in the world do you get gum on your eyelashes???!!"
"What do you mean your brother threw it at you?"

How does that thought process go?  Eh... don't want this gum anymore...  What should I do with it?  Throw it in the trash? Nah. How about at my brother's eye... yeah. yeah. that's the ticket.
I'll give it to two know how to keep a mom on her toes...
I mean, there I was bragging about how I am making you two into these almighty "self-regulated problem solvers" and here I am befuddled.

I mean, how do you get gum off eyelashes??
You think I have that in my bag of tricks? Hmmm... What do I know about getting gum out of things?
"How about we rub some ice on your eyelashes?"
"Yes, I know it's cold but what is worse... being a little cold or having gum stuck to your eye?"
okay... that  was worth a shot... a shot that failed miserably, but worth one none the less.

Hmmm... The only other solution I know about is peanut butter...
"Keep your eye closed." 
I snicker as I tell you this because I know without my help you aren't opening that eye any time soon.

"So here I am on a Friday night smearing peanut butter on my son's gum-sealed eye. Yeah... I'm living the life.  I know you all are jealous."
"What? I'm not talking to anyone... I'm commentating."
"Why am I commentating?  Because I already feel like a crazy person"
"Why do I feel like a crazy person... never-mind... I think it is finally coming off."

Yeah... tack this up to another thing I never thought I'd do

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