Monday, January 5, 2009

Love is...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I thought I knew what love was. I have had my heart broken...shattered would actually be a better word. So I know I have experienced it and lost it. Being back out in the dating world, love is a hard thing. You want to love again, but in the same sense, you don't want to be hurt again. So you guard yourself against expressing love in its normal sense.

You don't find yourself saying, "I love you". You say "take care" , "be careful driving home", or "I miss you". (But really, these are just other ways of saying "I love you,")

I have said (and heard) these expressions a LOT lately. Would I say I am in love? no ~ that would be opening myself up to being hurt. Would I say I care deeply for someone? yes. Does he know it? yes. Will it lead anywhere? who am I to know.

We are dear friends~ best friends really. We tell each other everything. If I go a day without hearing from him, I wonder and I worry. We spent New Years together. No place would I have rather been. We talked about us possibly moving towards a relationship. We both see that if we lived closer, that there could be a possibility for us, BUT we live in reality. So we take our time together, cherish it, and go back to our lives.

Is this love? Again, who am I to know? But I do know that expressing love is not as easy as it used to be... so, if you are reading this...I miss you.

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