My ex is having a baby

"How many kids do you want?"
"Three - two boys and a girl"

That conversation between me and my ex rings in my head.
It has several times over the years... especially when others talk about being pregnant and I say "if the time was right... I would have another."

But it doesn't seem that the time has (or ever will be) right.

And I'm okay with that... most days.
However, when my ex calls up and says that he has news... and the news is that he and his girlfriend are having a baby... and am I excited for them??

I can't seem to muster it up.  Not yet anyways.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want him back. I don't want to have a baby with him.  I just want another one of my own... and my door is quickly closing... and for that reason, I am sad.