Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Blind Side

I didn't see it coming.
How could I?

When I finally ended things (for good) with Spencer months ago, I was done.
I didn't look back... I didn't wish for more.
I had finally learned that he was not who I was meant to be with.
I knew that door was finally closed for me.
It was a hard decision, but a right one nonetheless.

I didn't wake every morning with him on my mind.
I didn't go to bed dreaming of him.
Sure... certain things still reminded me of him... of the good times (and there were many) but he was not a constant thought in my mind.

I was happy to be at that point.

So... when he friended me on Facebook yesterday, I was (needless to say) caught off guard.
Emotions poured through me.
I knew immediately that couldn't happen.
I couldn't continue with my healing, my getting over him, if on a daily basis I could see what he was doing or who he was with.

But I couldn't just "ignore" him either.
That's not how I work.
Never has been... never will be.
I have to "talk it out".
So I texted him.
I asked him why he was friending me... and then I explained why I wouldn't be accepting.
He said he understood.

Now... to get back to the point where he is not a constant thought....

5 comments:

  1. sorry about that, it will get easier though :)

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  2. Stopping by from SITs, and congrats on being a featured blogger! :-)

    I'm proud that you trusted yourself enough to NOT accept the Facebook "friendship". My mom has a problem with her boyfriend, and just a couple weeks ago when she was telling me something he did and it was "the last straw", I talked to her the other day and she mentioned he was there. I just sat there dumbfounded as to why just a strong woman was being so blind.
    Perhaps I can put you on the phone with her and YOU can talk some sense into her! *lol*

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  3. eek, you are very smart not to "friend" him!

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  4. Wow. That's amazing! What a wise choice. I left the state to get away from my ex and constant reminders. It was like, he didn't want to be married anymore but he couldn't leave me alone, either. The push-pull was destroying me. Best move I ever made and sure helped in the healing process.

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