The Blind Side

I didn't see it coming.
How could I?

When I finally ended things (for good) with Spencer months ago, I was done.
I didn't look back... I didn't wish for more.
I had finally learned that he was not who I was meant to be with.
I knew that door was finally closed for me.
It was a hard decision, but a right one nonetheless.

I didn't wake every morning with him on my mind.
I didn't go to bed dreaming of him.
Sure... certain things still reminded me of him... of the good times (and there were many) but he was not a constant thought in my mind.

I was happy to be at that point.

So... when he friended me on Facebook yesterday, I was (needless to say) caught off guard.
Emotions poured through me.
I knew immediately that couldn't happen.
I couldn't continue with my healing, my getting over him, if on a daily basis I could see what he was doing or who he was with.

But I couldn't just "ignore" him either.
That's not how I work.
Never has been... never will be.
I have to "talk it out".
So I texted him.
I asked him why he was friending me... and then I explained why I wouldn't be accepting.
He said he understood.

Now... to get back to the point where he is not a constant thought....