Let me just tell you when someone says to you, "Don't take this wrong..." It will never be a positive statement that follows.
This weekend I insisted that Spencer spend it with his children and his children alone. Even though I have never tried to make it a competition between them and me, it is.
Two weekends ago, I went down to see him. We decided that we weren't going to go do anything big, just stay in and play board games and cards with the kids. But when I won the first round, (I'm sorry but I don't throw games for my 4 and 6 year old and I am definitely not throwing them for a 12 year old!) his son was done. I'm guessing, his son felt like the focus was off him and on me.
So this weekend, he was home and had his kids. They didn't stay home. They went to the movies, to one of Spencer's friend's houses to let the kids play, and then out skating with another friend and her kids.
So...tonight when he told me, "Don't take this wrong... but it was a really good weekend without you here." It took all of me to not say, "Bite me!"
But I didn't. I looked at the big picture. I thought, what's wrong with our relationship if it was better without me there?
And the answer is... that he has to decide how to split his attention~me or his kids? I wish I could say that there is no right answer, but there is...it should always be his kids.
Which brings up SO many other questions... like where is the happy median between me and his kids? What do we need to do so can we move forward now that we have addressed the elephant in the room? Is there a true future in our relationship?
Remember when dating was easy??
...oh, wait...I don't! Guess I just thought it sounded like the thing to say.
Surfing Sunday 12.10
15 hours ago