As I celebrate, I also mourn

I bought a new car today.
I have been saving for this car for the past 3 years.
I have looked and test drove and haggled.

Finally today, I bought...

yes... a shiny, silvery, smelling good car.

Yet as I drove this new car off the lot, my eyes weld up with tears.
For I will be leaving a dear friend behind.
My red Chevy Cavalier.
My very first and only brand new car.
It was the showroom floor car.
It only had 26 miles on it when I drove it off the lot.
I bought it as a graduation present to myself. (of course it came with 5 years of payments... but they were my payments)
It (still to this day) has birdseed lodged in it from my wedding.
It brought both of my babies safely home from the hospital.
It was the only thing I could say was definitely mine before my divorce was final.
It served me well over the past 12 years and 207,000 miles.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't shed a tear and have a tightness in my chest as I drove away...for this new car:

... doesn't have a fancy story about how it came about to be mine.

... even though it is shiny and new, doesn't give me the comfort my old car did.
...sits in the spot my Cavalier once did and that is hard to get used to.

I would have never guessed on the day I finally got my new car, this is how I would feel.

Not your typical Thanksgiving?

Growing up Thanksgiving meant a FULL house of family ...and friends ...and anyone who wouldn't have a Thanksgiving if they didn't come to our house.
My mom had an uncanny way of finding the one family that had no place to go and making sure they were at our house.

After I got married, I was excited that we hosted Thanksgiving.
It allowed me to have the type of Thanksgiving I had always had.
For most people, Christmas or Halloween are their favorite holiday.
Not me.
Nope...mine was Thanksgiving.

Last year I broke that tradition.
I left my boys with their dad and I went and spent it with Spencer and his family.
I remember feeling sad.
Sad for not being with all my family and friends.
Don't get me wrong, I was appreciative to Spencer's family, but it wasn't the same.

This year, I knew once again I wasn't hosting Thanksgiving, but I decided I wasn't going to allow it to take away from what I had always known and loved about this holiday.
The love and companionship of my family and friends.

So, the boys and I headed to my brother, Nick's house on Wednesday.
We had "Thanksgiving" that night.
Fix of family and loving on the babies - Check!

Then today we headed to my bestie, Laura's house.
Her family decided not to travel this holiday season.
They would have just had Thanksgiving the three of them.
So, the boys and I joined them.
We went and saw Tangled.
We shared in the dinner and the company.
Fix of friends - Check!

Then my cousin's wife had their baby, so we headed to the hospital.
Charlie is a beautiful baby boy with an awesome set of lungs.
Bringing Thanksgiving to someone who wouldn't have had it otherwise- Check!

After our weekend, I felt whole.
My house had not been filled with the love of my family and friends...
but my heart had.
PRICELESS!

Sick in the head ~Post-it Note Tuesday

Come... Lay on my couch...It's free.

It's funny to me how in helping others to deal with their problems, you in turn help yourself work through your own problems.

... or are given the chance to see that those problems that used to haunt you are finally part of your past.



I IMed with a new guy last night.
He is going through a lot of issues.
His ex cheated on him.
He is numb when he thinks of her.
I've been there... I've felt that numbness.


I did a lot of listening and giving of solid advice.
It was not my normal, run-of-the-mill inital conversation with a guy on a dating website.

But it was good for me.
It was good to see that I have made it.
I have made it through the hurt and tears and numbness.

...and I have come out on the other side a better, smarter individual.


I told him that I honestly didn't think he was ready to be out in the dating world,
(Just what a guy wants to hear, right?) but that if he wanted a friend, I could be that.

My Baby is Reading!!!!

Sam has always been a "reader". Here he is "reading The Little Engine that Could.

But now he is actually reading!!

LMFO - Laugh My Fossil Off

This morning I awoke to both of my boys piled into my bed.
This doesn't happen as often as it used to.
It makes me smile that it still does though.

As I lay there, just enjoying waking without an alarm clock, my boys decided that my bed was going to be their archaeological dig site. Sam was doing the digging. Colby was pretending to be the dinosaur bones under the blankets and pillows mounds of dirt.

Sam started digging closer and closer to me.
Before I knew it, Sam grabbed my butt under the covers.
"I found a fossil!!!" he shouted. "It's a big, BIG fossil!"

Yeah... it's not that big! ;)

Mama said there'd be days like this

I'm glad I'm not the only one that has days like this and can still laugh.

I can finally breathe again...

I have been waiting for this day for a while.
This day that I can sigh because I can see that things are gonna work out.
Yeah... That day has come.
My class is FINALLY starting to come together.
Yeah. sure. It is November.
But we've made it.
I have students that come into my classroom quietly.
I have students that work without disrupting others.
I have students that finally raise their hand before blurting out.

So... let's hope they don't lose all their progress over Thanksgiving break.

Things I never thought I'd say - Post-It Note Tuesday

Tag. You're it!

I went on a date on Friday.

We went and played putt putt and laser tag.

Now I have never played laser tag before...

...and let me just tell you, I am awwwesoooome!

Yeah... I smoked him.

I scored 5676 points to his 3763 points.

I know. I know.

You're supposed to let the guy win to boost his ego.

Well, that isn't me.

I grew up with 3 brothers.

I am a very competitive person.

I like to win!!

I mean... we played putt putt and he won in that.

I couldn't let him have ALL the victories. Right?

I've decided that whoever I end up with is gonna have to be okay with a little healthy competition.

... that, and he is gonna have to know to let me win sometimes if I'm not coming out and beating him already.

Just sayin'.

the family I once had

"I cannot say goodbye to those whom I have grown to love, for the memories we have made will last a lifetime, and will never know a goodbye."

I used to be really close with my ex in-laws (that is before the "ex" got placed in front of their title). Without having parents here of my own, they truly filled a void for me. There are times in your life when you just need people to be part of your life.

Don't get me wrong. I still have a great relationship with them... as far as these things go with the parents of your ex-husband. But I struggle... because I really don't have a place in their family anymore. I have put that barrier there, not them. I had to.... to keep myself "sane".

This is not a new struggle by any means. I think I have done a decent job of distancing myself without being cold and distant.

Tonight at the boys' football game, my ex mother-in-law asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving. (She and I used to cook it together) I told her I didn't know, but had family that had offered for me to attend theirs.

She then said, "Well, you know, I'm sure it would be fine if you came to R's(my ex) with the rest of the family."

I smiled a weak smile and politely declined.
I explained that I'm sure R's girlfriend would be there and that just wouldn't be comfortable for me.
She then said, "Well, ok... But I'll save a plate for you."

My heart broke.
Not every wife has in-laws that love them... mine love me like I was one of their own.
It's not a big deal to me most of the time anymore.
I block it out.

But times like this...
...really make me miss the family I once had...

I shouldn't pick anyone out of a lineup anytime soon

I am on several dating websites.
I figure the more exposure... surely, the love of my life will find me.
Several are free.

I'm one of those gals that figure if I like what the guys has said, I might as well comment on it.
I mean, who is it gonna hurt, right?
The worst he could do is hit the delete button.

My problem is...
I tend to email the same guys on multiple sites... not on purpose either.
I mean, I have the same pictures up on all the sites.
These guys don't.

So, I see a cute guy.
I read his witty profile.
I send him an email.
... and then... it turns out to be someone I have already talked to.

Seriously.
This has happened to me several times already.

One of them emailed me back with "I don't date teachers. LOL"
So, I went back and looked closely... and realized...oops!

The most recent... was to a guy I actually went out on a date with.
After I sent him the email (on the different website than I met him), I get a text that said, "Haha Verrrrry funny"

Maybe he thought I was joking. I hope he did.
(I do like to kid around)

But the sad fact is, I wasn't.

yeah... I shouldn't go picking anyone out of a lineup anytime soon... I might just convict the same guy twice.

Pushing my buttons... Post It Note Tuesday

And the scene unfolds

I truly believe this.

Today, this scenario played out by my school.

The neighbor of one of our teachers called to say the teacher's dog was out.

The teacher left school quickly to go take care of her dog before the pound picked it up or it was killed.

One of our night time janitors was on his way to work.

Right in front of the teacher, the janitor swerved and hit a light pole. (he had a heart attack)

As the teacher pulled over to check on the wreck, the other night time janitor came around the corner.

As the other night time janitor began CPR, the teacher called our assistant superintendent.

Our assistant superintendent, called 911 as he rushed to the scene.

The assistant superintendent and the other night time janitor continued CPR

Within 8 minutes of the accident, a medevac helicopter arrived.

The crazy part of all of this is ....

• Had the teacher not gotten the phone call about her dog, she wouldn't have been there to witness the accident. They were not driving on a main road.


• Had the accident occurred 100 feet down the road, the teacher, nor the other janitor, would have come in contact with the accident.


• The janitor and the assistant superintendent are fully CPR certified. The teacher was not.


• The assistant superintendent was out of his office and was just a couple of minutes away from the crash site and was able to be on scene within 2 minutes.


• The medevac port is just minutes away from the crash site.

Call it kismet... Call it fate... call it destiny...
...but everything happens for a reason

Games I will wait to let my kids learn...

So, there are things that I have saved to share because I kinda felt like other posts got lost in the 3o days of truth....

My brother and his girlfriend came down a while back.

They like to spoil my boys. (as good uncles do)

They came home from Wal-mart with this.

Now, I am not like the rest of the world...

I didn't learn how to play beer pong until I was WAY out of college

BUT that doesn't mean I want my boys to make up for MY lost time

...and be pros at it by the time THEY get there.

I know....cool, that it is... it went back to the store.