the family I once had

"I cannot say goodbye to those whom I have grown to love, for the memories we have made will last a lifetime, and will never know a goodbye."

I used to be really close with my ex in-laws (that is before the "ex" got placed in front of their title). Without having parents here of my own, they truly filled a void for me. There are times in your life when you just need people to be part of your life.

Don't get me wrong. I still have a great relationship with them... as far as these things go with the parents of your ex-husband. But I struggle... because I really don't have a place in their family anymore. I have put that barrier there, not them. I had to.... to keep myself "sane".

This is not a new struggle by any means. I think I have done a decent job of distancing myself without being cold and distant.

Tonight at the boys' football game, my ex mother-in-law asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving. (She and I used to cook it together) I told her I didn't know, but had family that had offered for me to attend theirs.

She then said, "Well, you know, I'm sure it would be fine if you came to R's(my ex) with the rest of the family."

I smiled a weak smile and politely declined.
I explained that I'm sure R's girlfriend would be there and that just wouldn't be comfortable for me.
She then said, "Well, ok... But I'll save a plate for you."

My heart broke.
Not every wife has in-laws that love them... mine love me like I was one of their own.
It's not a big deal to me most of the time anymore.
I block it out.

But times like this...
...really make me miss the family I once had...