Why I'm okay with making up a snow day on MLK Jr day

I love teaching equal rights to my students.
It is so hard for most of them to fathom a person being treated differently for the color of their skin and I love that!

I grew up in an area of the country that racial colors were not prominent. I grew up in an area where there were a lot of German farmers ...blond hair and blue eyes is a lot of what I saw.  But, somehow, even without having that contrast I still knew everyone I met or saw was the same... should be treated the same.

I can remember the first time that I met my ex, R's aunt.  She is from the south.  She had very strong (and wrong) views of "colored" people (as she called them).  She went as far to say, "I even had a little colored boy in my class this year that could actually learn." My jaw dropped and R. begged me to keep my mouth shut.  Fifteen years later and I can still hear her say it clear as day.  Fifteen years later and it still chills me to the bone.

So every year I teach my lesson.  I tell my students of the pain and struggles our country has gone through to get to where we are today so everyone has the same rights.

Then I have them write about inequality.

yeah... I think they got the message.

My New Year's Resolutions... it's NEVER too late to decide to change

I know. I know. Resolutions... who really wants them?
I think this year they come for me more out of need than want.

My bout of being down in the dumps over Christmas really made me over-analyze my life.

So... here is what I have come up with...

This year I need to improve myself:

• mentally 
• spiritually
• emotionally
• physically

Mentally... I need to get "right" with myself. There is still a lot of hurt that I have managed to bury and it occasionally creeps out. I need to get rid of it completely so it doesn't have to creep any more. I am way too hard on myself sometimes...I expect perfection when I know perfection is not even close to being a possibility. I see my children putting undue pressure upon themselves. Unfortunately, I know they get that from me. I want to change that. I need to accept me for me.  The good and the bad.  I need to allow others to treat me well (because I deserve it... yes, I have to repeatedly self-talk myself through this one).  I need to remember that no one else but ME needs to forgive me for past doings.(It's so much easier to ask for and accept forgiveness from someone else.)

Spiritually... I need to do a better job of being a spiritual example to my children. I need to become more involved in my church and push for the changes that I want to see happen.

Emotionally... Hand-in-hand this one and the mentally healthy one are skipping along as best friends right now.  When I have resolved the hurt and the need for perfection, I won't be on the emotional roller coaster again that I was on over Christmas.

Physically... I just need to get back to being tone.  To be able to chase after my boys and not feel like an old woman.  I was there this summer.  I fell off the "keeping fit" bandwagon right after Thanksgiving. I need to remember... Don't give up! Push hard. Push through.

I have decided that above all... this will be my motto this year:

Live your life to the fullest. Never regret.

What resolutions did you come up with this year?  Have you already broken them?

It only takes a spark to get a fire going

Let me start out by saying that I'm not some über religious person. I believe in God and Jesus and in living my life right.  I don't have any desire to push my religious beliefs on you... or for you to do that to me.  I am involved just enough in my church to feel like I play a part.  I guess you could say that I have a very lax attitude when it comes to my church life.

I haven't always been this way.  I can remember in high school being on fire for Jesus.  I wanted anyone and everyone to come to church and youth group with  me. I truly  had that love and wanted to share it.

However, that "feeling" hasn't been part of me for a long time....  but I truly believe things happen for a reason.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me to join a committee at church.  Our pastor retired a couple months back and a planning committee was being formed to decide what our church's needs and wants are.

You see... I go to my church. I enjoy the people of my church. But I don't feel like my church meets all of my needs.  Do I complain?  Well, no.  That's not my nature. It's also not my nature to quit something just because my needs aren't met (Guess that's why I stayed in my marriage - but that is here nor there now)  Once I'm committed, I'm there for the long haul. And up until now... I had never been asked my opinion about how I viewed the workings of my church.

Tonight was eye opening for me.
I saw that others saw the same short comings as I did.
The same reasons I have been hesitant to give myself fully to my church are the same reasons why others have pulled away.

It's strangely liberating.

We have decided we aren't going to sit idly by any more... that this is our church!  So, in moving forward, we are going to make it the best one yet and we are going to get someone in the pastoral position that feels the same way.

There might be a spark left in me after all...

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.

I just have to say... I couldn't be a prouder momma.

I know I expect a lot from my boys.
I know I try to teach them what is good and right... but when they display that... and others take notice... that is a true sign they are listening.

Sam was chosen as his school's Citizen of the Month for exemplary behavior and was recognized at the school board meeting.

Colby was chosen for a character award at his school for demonstrating the character trait of Compassion - Caring for others.

Yeah... beaming from ear-to-ear here!!!

If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to

I despise telemarketers.
I am on the no call list, but I still get the occasional call.

Today was one of those days.
I saw it on my caller ID, but I decided that I would tell whomever was calling to take me off their list.

It was from XM radio.
I had their service... now let me tell you up front I loved my XM because my part of the country is about 6 months behind the rest of the country when it comes to music.  I would hear a song on XM and be tired of it before it even breached my local radio station. (and then would laugh when my local radio station would say "Here's a new release from so-and-so")

My problem with XM was their service... not the one provided to me, but the people I dealt with. I was told I would get a year's free worth of service. I got 3 months. When I decided to pay for an additional 6 months, I gave my credit card info that day. Nine months later, I received a call from a collection agency for said bill.

For someone who always pays their bills on time, I was pissed!!!

So... today... when the woman on the other line said, "I'm from XM and just so you know this call is being recorded for quality assurance purposes.  Can you tell me why  you left our service?" I let know exactly why.

Strange, but she didn't try to stay on the line with me OR try to get me to re-join their service.
Betcha I don't get any more calls from them.... and I'm okay with that.

Santa might be late, but he is NEVER wrong

Thanks to the help of a wonderful friend... I was able to get something I have been wanting for a long time.

Resolutions?? Who needs them?? Oh yeah... Me.

I wish I believe about myself how Calvin views himself... would have made this past week a lot easier.
While my boys were gone, I had a LOT of time to analyze myself and my life.

Great if you are trying to come up with New Year's resolutions... not so great if you are trying to stay positive.

I was in the "Whoa is me" state and I was telling a friend how everyone believes that I deserve more than for me than I believe for myself. That's when they said, "Yeah, I don't get it Dawn.  You deserve to have it all and then some.  Don't ever let yourself think that you don't. But the thing is... that isn't the side of Dawn we all see... I have always thought of you as a very brave and confident person."

I went on to tell them that I think that maybe I am great at putting on a good front. I have done it most of my life, but I don't think I am brave most of the time. Resilient maybe, but brave, no.

I also think people misconstrue happiness for confident. I know I haven't been confident in myself most of my life, but I can definitely say that I have been happy. And happiness ISN'T overrated!

I think they also view my outgoingness as being confident... to some it might be two in the same... but for me it is not.  I am outgoing so I don't end up shy in a corner somewhere... trust me, I have already lived that part of my life (and those tendencies still reside within me). I am loud and boisterous because who can ignore the loud one??  I'm also outgoing because I know what it feels like to be left out... excluded.  I figure if I'm the "outgoing one", I get to pick whether or not someone gets invited along... and trust me, I look for the people that look like I used to look (and how I still sometimes feel) and I make sure they are included.

Does it make me popular?  Sometimes.
...But not always. Strange as it sounds, not everyone wants everyone to be included.
I've decided teachers are worse than catty high school girls.
Have I told you I purposefully didn't hang with those girls in high school??

Our staff wrote kind words to one another as a present this year.
Someone wrote on mine "A big ball of sunshine who brightens everyone's day."

So... I guess my resolution is... To live up to the person others view me to be... and actually believe it about myself.

What resolutions did you decide on this year?