Wednesday, November 28, 2012

It's a love/hate thing

I love that Ty loves me and takes care of me.
I love that he is so caring and sweet, yet rough and tumble with my boys.
I love that he checks in. (I need that)
I love that he does sweet little things that others might take for granted... but not me.

But I hate that he sometimes reminds me of Spencer.
...I hate that sometimes my brain can not think of his name and replaces Spencer's name in the void that is there.
I hate that my hurt heart doubts the time that passes... and wonders when he, too, will walk away leaving me blindsided.
I hate that I am up worrying about something that hasn't (nor may ever) come to fruition.

1 comment:

  1. Looking for a quote and came upon your page. I didn't realize others did this. Sometimes I think the emotional "feel" of a moment throws us. I went to group therapy for a while and they called it transference. I actually saw it occur, so I try to center myself when it happens and look at what I may be missing. Also, our brain pathways are not easy to change. Thanks for being there and reminding us others feel the same.


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