I'm having to build myself up.
I don't know why I have to have self-talk... but I do.
I can't just jump in, both feet, all willy-nilly into something tough.
I have to think... and plan... and practice.
I did this before I got the courage up to go tell my principal that I'm an island in my grade-level this year. (now that my bestie has changed grades)
I can work with anyone, but being allowed to be part of the team is a completely different side of the story.
I'm not part of a team this year.
I teach in a room that is located next to other people who are teaching.
Don't get me wrong... what's going on in my room is wonderful!!
I have such a great group this year!
But those people that inhabit the rooms surrounding mine... They are the vast ocean... and I am an island.
We are going through a lot of curriculum changes this year.
I have actually started to wrap my head around it.
I have came to my group with suggestions that would make things easier... better.
I get shot down.
I go and talk to the other grade levels.
I hear, "That's a great idea!" or "Yep. That's what we're doing."
But not from my "team".
I get "That's not what I want to do..."Or "That's not how we've always done it" (Did I mention we are making changes??)
So I brought it to the attention to my principal.
I was told "Be Brave. Stand up to them. Tell them you have every right for your voice to be heard. You just have to be brave."
So tomorrow (God help me) I plan to do just that.
For those of you that know me... you know I don't like to rock the boat.
I truly don't see it solving any of my problems.
But my principal doesn't believe in helping if you aren't willing to help yourself.
I have to show her that I am willing...
Then I have to figure out a way to convince her that I would be better elsewhere next year...because I don't think I can survive another year with the mean girl... as long as I'm an island.