My friend, Angela, called me the other night.
She was worried about me since I haven't been blogging.
(I know... sad that this is how my friends know that I'm still kickin'... but it works :)
I haven't been blogging because I have had a week-long headache... that and I'm mentally discombobulated. My brain isn't producing complete thoughts... and when it does, I'm not sure they make sense.
I know part of this has to do with D.P. - not knowing where I stand with being with him.
He's not a stupid guy...
We had a date last night.
He brought up the topic of being distance... from his perspective..."I'm sorry if I have been distance lately. Everything with work..."
But see... I'm not stupid either.
I knew he was opening a door for me.
So I took it.
I told him that him "being distant" lately has been a good thing for me... that all of this "together" time is overwhelming for me. That I need my me time... that I have never been in a relationship where the guy was there all the time.
He told me he was glad that I told him... that he couldn't seem to get a read on me.... but that it made sense to him now.
I thought that conversation would make me miraculously wake up this morning and my headache would be gone... but it's not.
I know it's not because I should have said all that I am feeling to D.P. and I didn't.
I'm not good at starting hard conversations.
I don't like to hurt other people's feelings.
Unfortunately... that's what's gonna happen.