Thursday, April 21, 2011

A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.

wow. You all are good!
I mean... try to leave one tiny little smidgen of a detail out on a blog post... and BAM!
I get called on it.

It's okay though.
You all have given me advice when I needed it.
You have been there to cheer me on in my lowest of lows
and jump for joy on my highest of highs.
... so I guess I will share.

I went to the Elton John concert on a date... you all knew that.
What I didn't tell you was that it was with a guy I swore I would never go out with again.
It's not that he was a bad guy... in fact, he is very nice, BUT (yes, there's that word!) he is not a talker.

If you haven't noticed, I'm a talker. A conversationalist. I know not a stranger.

But when I am on a date, I don't want to be the only voice that is heard!
I am WAY curious.
I ask a LOT of questions!
But in the same sense, I want questions to be asked of me, as well.
(Guys... this is how a gal knows you care!)

So... on our last date, I would ask a question, he would answer, and the conversation would end.
I mean, I freakin' ate my WHOLE salad without saying a word!! (and no, I did NOT inhale it like teachers are known to do - What??!! I'll give you 15 minutes to eat a whole meal and see how well you do!)

So, because of that, I decided that would be our last date.

Three weeks went by... I hadn't heard from him.
I was relieved.
I don't like to have that conversation (though I do).

Then I got a Facebook friend request.
I know. I know. Why accept him??
I'm just that way.
I don't like to snub people... guess I have been snubbed one too many times in my life.
Facebook is like that for me.
I don't go around requesting people to be my friends very often, but if they want to be mine, why would I say no?
(The answer to that question is a whole other post!!)
So I accepted him as a friend.

He IM'ed me daily.
One day he asked me if I liked Elton John.
"Who doesn't?" I responded.
"Well he is playing here, would you like to go?"
Freak out city!!  My worst fears were coming true, but I played it calm.
"I can't afford that right now."
"I have already bought your ticket, silly! Just say yes!"

I guess you could said flattery does get a guy somewhere...
My previous men haven't lavished me with fancy gifts.
So when I know that a guy has dropped 80 bucks for me not knowing if I would say yes...  it gets him a "yes."

The date went fine.
We went out to dinner ahead of time.
I paid. (My bestie, Laura, rolled her eyes at me when I told her this... she believes a woman should never pay for dinner!)
I paid because it cleared my conscious.
He contributed to the night by buying the concert tickets.
I contributed by buying dinner.
That way I didn't feel quite as guilty... like I was taking advantage.
I had honestly decided last Wednesday that I wasn't going to go.
Then he mentioned that we would be going with friends of his... 3 other couples.
Laura told me I couldn't leave him high-and-dry... that if everyone else was a couple that was going, it would be worse to not go than to "take advantage."

So I went.
You already saw, I enjoyed myself at the concert... because I entertained myself!
Yeah... humor comes from all angles for me.

After the concert in the parking garage, I hear my name being called from a car waiting to leave.
It was my cousin, Andrew, and his wife.
I literally crawled in to hug them.
I hadn't realized it until that moment that I was starved for conversation.
I couldn't stop talking!
I asked questions.
They asked questions.
I was just so happy!!

In that moment, I knew that no matter the flattery, I would never go out with him again.

So... the next day, when he IM'ed me on Facebook....I let him down easy.

What??  I said I had those conversations... I never said they always happened face-to-face.


  1. I agree, it was a good idea to pay for the dinner. And sticking to what is important for you.

  2. It's good that you paid for dinner and that you let him down.

    p.s. I tried to activate my email not sure if it worked and now wordpress is telling me I don't own that identiy. I will keep playing around.


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