Not normal

I should have my tree up.
I normally do by this time of year.
I should have my shopping almost complete.
I normally do by this time of year.
I should be in the holiday spirit.
I normally am by this time of year.

It doesn't feel like the holidays to me yet.
I miss having my boys here at home every night.
I want to wait to put up the tree when they are here...but I don't feel like I have had any "down time" with them to do that.
I don't even know what they want this year. (That is except for those Zhu Zhu hamsters that you can't find anywhere!)

I'm feeling like a complete Scrooge.

I know this is stemming from the fact that I know this Christmas isn't going to be normal...and I don't know what to do about that yet.