He was the perfect guy... just not the perfect guy for me

I broke up with D.P. tonight.
It was harder to do than I thought.
I have been building myself up to have the courage to do it for a while now.


I thought it would be easy.
I've been divorced since July 2008.
The last major relationship I was in ended in Feb. 2010.
I'm used to being alone.

The thing is throughout this time with DP... I have gotten used to having someone there to listen to my thoughts.
To give advice to and get advice from.
To check in and say, "Hey! How was your day?"
To get it.

That's why it took so long.. for me to make my decision.
It was a selfish thing on my part.
I didn't want to give that up.
The attentiveness.


I talked with friends and family for advice.
Just be honest
is what kept ringing clear over and over and over again.

So I was.
I told him how great of a guy he was and how I want us to still be friends, but that it wasn't going to work out between us.
His happy-go-lucky well spoken voice went low and he stumbled over his words.
He said he appreciated my honesty.

I'm glad I did finally told him how I was feeling... so why do I feel like crap??